CHAPTER III.
關燈
小
中
大
urs?Butwhichisthebest?Nottheirsassuredly.Astotheirwomen,itisalittledifferent:theycultivatebeautyfromchildhoodupwards,andmaybycareandtrainingattaintoacertaindegreeofexcellenceinthatpoint,justliketheorientalodalisques.Yeteventhissuperiorityisdoubtful.ComparethefigureinthatframewithMrs.EdwardCrimsworth—whichisthefineranimal?”
Irepliedquietly:“CompareyourselfandMr.EdwardCrimsworth,MrHunsden.”
“Oh,CrimsworthisbetterfilledupthanIam,Iknowbesideshehasastraightnose,archedeyebrows,andallthatbuttheseadvantages—iftheyareadvantages—hedidnotinheritfromhismother,thepatrician,butfromhisfather,oldCrimsworth,who,MYfathersays,wasasveritablea——shireblue-dyeraseverputindigoinavatyetwithalthehandsomestmaninthethreeRidings.Itisyou,William,whoarethearistocratofyourfamily,andyouarenotasfineafellowasyourplebeianbrotherbylongchalk.”
TherewassomethinginMr.Hunsden’spoint-blankmodeofspeechwhichratherpleasedmethanotherwisebecauseitsetmeatmyease.Icontinuedtheconversationwithadegreeofinterest.
“HowdoyouhappentoknowthatIamMr.Crimsworth’sbrother?Ithoughtyouandeverybodyelselookeduponmeonlyinthelightofapoorclerk.”
“Well,andsowedoandwhatareyoubutapoorclerk?YoudoCrimsworth’swork,andhegivesyouwages—shabbywagestheyare,too.”
Iwassilent.Hunsden’slanguagenowborderedontheimpertinent,stillhismannerdidnotoffendmeintheleast—itonlypiquedmycuriosityIwantedhimtogoon,whichhedidinalittlewhile.
“Thisworldisanabsurdone,”saidhe.
“Whyso,Mr.Hunsden?”
“Iwonderyoushouldask:youareyourselfastrongproofoftheabsurdityIalludeto.”
Iwasdeterminedheshouldexplainhimselfofhisownaccord,withoutmypressinghimsotodo—soIresumedmysilence.
“Isityourintentiontobecomeatradesman?”heinquiredpresently.
“Itwasmyseriousintentionthreemonthsago.”
“Humph!themorefoolyou—youlooklikeatradesman!Whatapracticalbusiness-likefaceyouhave!”
“MyfaceisastheLordmadeit,Mr.Hunsden.”
“TheLordnevermadeeitheryourfaceorheadforX——Whatgoodcanyourbumpsofideality,comparison,self-esteem,conscientiousness,doyouhere?ButifyoulikeBigbenClose,staythereit’syourownaffair,notmine.”
“PerhapsIhavenochoice.”
“Well,Icarenoughtaboutit—itwillmakelittledifferencetomewhatyoudoorwhereyougobutI’mcoolnow—IwanttodanceagainandIseesuchafinegirlsittinginthecornerofthesofatherebyhermammaseeifIdon’tgetherforapartnerinajiffy!There’sWaddy—SamWaddymakinguptoherwon’t