Solitude

ionsandamsensibleofacertaindoublenessbywhichIcanstandasremotefrommyselfasfromanother.Howeverintensemyexperience,Iamconsciousofthepresenceandcriticismofapartofme,which,asitwere,isnotapartofme,butspectator,sharingnoexperience,buttakingnoteofitandthatisnomoreIthanitisyou.Whentheplay,itmaybethetragedy,oflifeisover,thespectatorgoeshisway.Itwasakindoffiction,aworkoftheimaginationonly,sofarashewasconcerned.Thisdoublenessmayeasilymakeuspoorneighborsandfriendssometimes. Ifinditwholesometobealonethegreaterpartofthetime.Tobeincompany,evenwiththebest,issoonwearisomeanddissipating.Ilovetobealone.Ineverfoundthecompanionthatwassocompanionableassolitude.Weareforthemostpartmorelonelywhenwegoabroadamongmenthanwhenwestayinourchambers.Amanthinkingorworkingisalwaysalone,lethimbewherehewill.Solitudeisnotmeasuredbythemilesofspacethatintervenebetweenamanandhisfellows.ThereallydiligentstudentinoneofthecrowdedhivesofCambridgeCollegeisassolitaryasadervishinthedesert.Thefarmercanworkaloneinthefieldorthewoodsallday,hoeingorchopping,andnotfeellonesome,becauseheisemployedbutwhenhecomeshomeatnighthecannotsitdowninaroomalone,atthemercyofhisthoughts,butmustbewherehecan“seethefolks,”andrecreate,andashethinksremuneratehimselfforhisday’ssolitudeandhencehewondershowthestudentcansitaloneinthehouseallnightandmostofthedaywithoutennuiand“theblues”buthedoesnotrealizethatthestudent,thoughinthehouse,isstillatworkinhisfield,andchoppinginhiswoods,asthefarmerinhis,andinturnseeksthesamerecreationandsocietythatthelatterdoes,thoughitmaybeamorecondensedformofit. Societyiscommonlytoocheap.Wemeetatveryshortintervals,nothavinghadtimetoacquireanynewvalueforeachother.Wemeetatmealsthreetimesaday,andgiveeachotheranewtasteofthatoldmustycheesethatweare.Wehavehadtoagreeonacertainsetofrules,calledetiquetteandpoliteness,tomakethisfrequentmeetingtolerableandthatweneednotcometoopenwar.Wemeetatthepost-office,andatthesociable,andaboutthefiresideeverynightwelivethickandareineachother’sway,andstumbleoveroneanother,andIthinkthatwethuslosesomerespectforoneanother.Certainlylessfrequencywouldsufficeforallimportantandheartycommunications.Considerthegirlsinafactory,—neveralone,hardlyintheirdreams.Itwouldbebetteriftherewerebutoneinhabitanttoasquaremile,aswhereIlive.Thevalueofamanisnotinhisskin,thatweshouldtouchhim. Ihaveheardofamanlostinthewoodsanddyingoffamineandexhaustionatthefootofatree,whoselonelinesswasrelievedbythegrotesquevisionswithwhich,owingtobodilyweakness,hisdiseasedimaginationsurroundedhim,andwhichhebelievedtobereal.Soalso,owingtobodilyandmentalhealthandstrength,wemaybecontinuallycheeredbyalikebutmorenormalandnaturalsociety,andcometoknowthatweareneveralone. Ihaveagreatdealofcompanyinmyhouseespeciallyinthemorning,whennobodycalls.Letmesuggestafewcomparisons,thatsomeonemayconveyanideaofmysituation.Iamnomorelonelythanthelooninthepondthatlaughssoloud,orthanWaldenPonditself.Whatcompanyhasthatlonelylake,Ipray?Andyetithasnotthebluedevils,buttheblueangelsinit,intheazuretintofitswaters.Thesunisalone,ex