Where I Lived, and What I Lived For

Atacertainseasonofourlifeweareaccustomedtoconsidereveryspotasthepossiblesiteofahouse.IhavethussurveyedthecountryoneverysidewithinadozenmilesofwhereIlive.InimaginationIhaveboughtallthefarmsinsuccession,forallweretobebought,andIknewtheirprice.Iwalkedovereachfarmer’spremises,tastedhiswildapples,discoursedonhusbandrywithhim,tookhisfarmathisprice,atanyprice,mortgagingittohiminmymindevenputahigherpriceonit,—tookeverythingbutadeedofit,—tookhiswordforhisdeed,forIdearlylovetotalk,—cultivatedit,andhimtootosomeextent,Itrust,andwithdrewwhenIhadenjoyeditlongenough,leavinghimtocarryiton.Thisexperienceentitledmetoberegardedasasortofreal-estatebrokerbymyfriends.WhereverIsat,thereImightlive,andthelandscaperadiatedfrommeaccordingly.Whatisahousebutasedes,aseat?—betterifacountryseat.Idiscoveredmanyasiteforahousenotlikelytobesoonimproved,whichsomemighthavethoughttoofarfromthevillage,buttomyeyesthevillagewastoofarfromit.Well,thereImightlive,IsaidandthereIdidlive,foranhour,asummerandawinterlifesawhowIcouldlettheyearsrunoff,buffetthewinterthrough,andseethespringcomein.Thefutureinhabitantsofthisregion,wherevertheymayplacetheirhouses,maybesurethattheyhavebeenanticipated.Anafternoonsufficedtolayoutthelandintoorchard,woodlot,andpasture,andtodecidewhatfineoaksorpinesshouldbelefttostandbeforethedoor,andwhenceeachblastedtreecouldbeseentothebestadvantageandthenIletitlie,fallowperchance,foramanisrichinproportiontothenumberofthingswhichhecanaffordtoletalone. MyimaginationcarriedmesofarthatIevenhadtherefusalofseveralfarms,—therefusalwasallIwanted,—butInevergotmyfingersburnedbyactualpossession.ThenearestthatIcametoactualpossessionwaswhenIboughttheHollowellplace,andhadbeguntosortmyseeds,andcollectedmaterialswithwhichtomakeawheelbarrowtocarryitonoroffwithbutbeforetheownergavemeadeedofit,hiswife—everymanhassuchawife—changedhermindandwishedtokeepit,andheofferedmetendollarstoreleasehim.Now,tospeakthetruth,Ihadbuttencentsintheworld,anditsurpassedmyarithmetictotell,ifIwasthatmanwhohadtencents,orwhohadafarm,ortendollars,oralltogether.However,Ilethimkeepthetendollarsandthefarmtoo,forIhadcarrieditfarenoughorrather,tobegenerous,IsoldhimthefarmforjustwhatIgaveforit,and,ashewasnotarichman,madehimapresentoftendollars,andstillhadmytencents,andseeds,andmaterialsforawheelbarrowleft.IfoundthusthatIhadbeenarichmanwithoutanydamagetomypoverty.ButIretainedthelandscape,andIhavesinceannuallycarriedoffwhatityieldedwithoutawheelbarrow.Withrespecttolandscapes,— “IammonarchofallIsurvey, Myrightthereisnonetodispute.” Ihavefrequentlyseenapoetwithdraw,havingenjoyedthemostvaluablepartofafarm,whilethecrustyfarmersupposedthathehadgotafewwildapplesonly.Why,theownerdoesnotknowitformanyyearswhenapoethasputhisfarminrhyme,themostadmirablekindofinvisiblefence,hasfairlyimpoundedit,milkedit,skimmedit,andgotallthecream,andleftthefarmeronlytheskimmedmilk. TherealattractionsoftheHollowellfarm,tome,wereitscompleteretirement,being,abouttwomilesfromthevillage,halfamilefromthenearestneighbor,andseparatedfromthehighwaybyabroadfielditsboundingontheriver,whichtheownersaidprotecteditbyitsfogsfromfrostsinthespring,thoughthatwasnothingtomethegraycolorandruinousstateofthehouseandbarn,andthedilapidatedfences,whichputsuchanintervalbetweenmeandthelastoccupantthehollowandlichen-coveredappletrees,gnawedbyrabbits,showingwhatkindofneighborsIshouldhavebutaboveall,therecollectionIhadofitfrommyearliestvoyagesuptheriver,whenthehousewasconcealedbehindadensegroveofredmaples,throughwhichIheardthehouse-dogbark.Iwasinhastetobuyit,beforetheproprietorfinishedgettingoutsomerocks,cuttingdownthehollowappletrees,andgrubbingupsomeyoungbircheswhichhadsprungupinthepasture,or,inshort,hadmadeanymoreofhisimprovements.ToenjoytheseadvantagesIwasreadytocarryitonlikeAtlas,totaketheworldonmyshoulders,—Ineverheardwhatcompensationhereceivedforthat,—anddoallthosethingswhichhadnoothermotiveorexcusebutthatImightpayforitandbeunmolestedinmypossessionofitforIknewallthewhilethatitwouldyieldthemostabundantcropofthekindIwantedifIcouldonlyaffordtoletitalone.ButitturnedoutasIhavesaid. AllthatIcouldsay,then,withrespecttofarmingonalargescale,(Ihavealwayscultivatedagarden,)was,thatIhadhadmyseedsready.Manythinkthatseedsimprovewithage.IhavenodoubtthattimediscriminatesbetweenthegoodandthebadandwhenatlastIshallplant,Ishallbelesslikelytobedisappointed.ButIwouldsaytomyfellows,onceforall,Aslongaspossiblelivefreeanduncommitted.Itmakesbutlittledifferencewhetheryouarecommittedtoafarmorthecountyjail. OldCato,whose“DeReRustica”ismy“Cultivator,”says,andtheonlytranslationIhaveseenmakessheernonsenseofthepassage,“Whenyouthinkofgettingafarm,turnitthusinyourmind,nottobuygreedilynorspareyourpainstolookatit,anddonotthinkitenoughtogorounditonce.Theofteneryougotherethemoreitwillpleaseyou,ifitisgood.”IthinkIshallnotbuygreedily,butgoroundandrounditaslongasIlive,andbeburiedinitfirst,thatitmaypleasemethemoreatlast. Thepresentwasmynextexperimentofthiskind,whichIpurposetodescribemoreatlengthforconvenience,puttingtheexperienceoftwoyearsintoone.AsIhavesaid,Idonotproposetowriteanodetodejection,buttobragaslustilyaschanticleerinthemorning,standingonhisroost,ifonlytowakemyneighborsup. WhenfirstItookupmyabodeinthewoods,thatis,begantospendmynightsaswellasdaysthere,which,byaccident,wasonIndependenceDay,ortheFourthofJuly,1845,myhousewasnotfinishedforwinter,butwasmerel