Chapter XXXIV

hanwhenshewaseighteen,andyet—shewasthirty.Thethoughtmadeherwinceforshehadneverrealisedthepassageoftheyears,shehadneverimaginedthatheryouthwaswaning.Didpeoplethinkheralreadyold?ThesickeningfearcametoherthatsheresembledMissHancock,attemptingbyarchnessandbyanassumptionoffrivolity,topersuadeherneighboursthatshewasjuvenile.Berthaaskedherselfwhethershewasridiculouswhensherolledinthewaterlikeayounggirl:youcannotactthemermaidwithcrow’sfeetaboutyoureyes,withwrinklesroundyourmouth.Inapanicshedressedherself,andgoinghome,flewtoalooking-glass.Shescrutinisedherfeaturesasshehadneverdonebefore,searchinganxiouslyforthesignsshefearedtoseeshelookedatherneckandathereyes:herskinwasassmoothasever,herteethasperfect.Shegaveasighofrelief. “Iseenodifference.” Then,doublytoreassureherself,afantasticideaseizedBerthatodressasthoughsheweregoingtoagreatballshewishedtoseeherselftoalladvantage.Shechosethemostsplendidgownshehad,andtookoutherjewels.TheLeyshadsoldeveryvestigeoftheiroldmagnificence,buttheirdiamonds,withcharacteristicobstinacy,theyhadinvariablydeclinedtopartwithandtheylayaside,yearafteryearunused,thestonesintheiroldsettings,dulledwithdustandneglect.ThemoisturestillinBertha’shairwasanexcusetodoitcapriciously,andsheplacedinitthebeautifultiarawhichhergrandmotherhadwornintheRegency.Onhershoulderssheworetwoornamentsexquisitelysetingold-work,purloinedbyagreat-uncleinthePeninsularWarfromthesaintofaSpanishchurch.Sheslippedastringofpearlsroundherneck,braceletsonherarms,andfastenedaglisteningrowofstarstoherbosom.Knowingshehadbeautifulhands,Berthadisdainedtowearrings,butnowshecoveredherfingerswithdiamondsandemeraldsandsapphires. Finallyshestoodbeforethelooking-glass,andgavealaughofpleasure.Shewasnotoldyet. Butwhenshesailedintothedrawing-room,Edwardjumpedupinsurprise. “GoodLord!”hecried.“Whatonearth’sup!Havewegotpeoplecomingtodinner?” “Mydear,ifwehad,Ishouldnothavedressedlikethis.” “You’regotupasifthePrinceofWaleswerecoming.AndI’monlyinknickerbockers.It’snotourwedding-day?” “No.” “ThenIshouldliketoknowwhyyou’vedressedyourselfuplikethat.” “Ithoughtitwouldpleaseyou,”shesaid,smiling. “Iwishyou’dtoldme—I’dhavedressedtoo.Areyousurenoone’scoming?” “Quitesure.” “Well,IthinkIoughttodress.Itwouldlooksoqueerifsomeoneturnedup.” “Ifanyonedoes,IpromiseyouI’llfly.” Theywentintodinner,Edwardfeelingveryuncomfortable,andkeepinghisearalertforthefront-doorbell.Theyatetheirsoup,andthenweresetonthetable—theremainsofacoldlegofmuttonandmashedpotatoes.Berthalookedforamomentblankly,andthen,leaningback,burstintopealuponpealoflaughter. “GoodLord,whatisthematternow?”askedEdward. Nothingismoreannoyingthantohavepeopleviolentlyhilariousoverajokethatyoucannotsee. Berthaheldhersidesandtriedtospeak. “I’vejustrememberedthatItoldtheservantstheymightgooutto-night,there’sacircusatBlackstableandIsaidwe’djusteatuptheoddsandends.” “Idon’tseeanyjokeinthat.” Andreallytherewasnone,butBerthalaughedagainimmoderately. “Isupposetherearesomepickles,”saidEdward. Bertharepressedhergaietyandbegantoeat. “Thatismywholelife,”shemurmuredunderherbreath,“toeatcoldmuttonandmashedpotatoesinaball-dressandallmydiamonds.”