Chapter XXXIV

BUTifthehumansoul,ortheheart,orthemind—callitwhatyouwill—isaninstrumentuponwhichcountlessmelodiesmaybeplayed,itiscapableofrespondingforverylongtonosingleone.Timedullsthemostexquisiteemotions,softensthemostheartrendinggrief.Thestoryisoldofthephilosopherwhosoughttoconsoleawomanindistressbytheaccountoftribulationsakintohers,anduponlosinghisonlysonwassentbyheralistofallkingssimilarlybereaved.Hereadit,acknowledgeditscorrectness,butweptnonetheless.Threemonthslaterthephilosopherandtheladyweresurprisedtofindoneanotherquitegay,anderectedafinemonumenttoTimewiththeinscription:Aceluiquiconsole. WhenBerthavowedthatlifehadlostallsavour,thatherennuiwasunending,sheexaggeratedasusual,andalmostgrewangryondiscoveringthatexistencecouldbemoresupportablethanshesupposed. Onegetsusedtoallthings.Itisonlyverymisanthropicpersonswhopretendthattheycannotaccustomthemselvestothestupidityoftheirfellowsfor,afterawhile,onegetshardenedtothemostdesperatebores,andmonotonyevenceasestobequitemonotonous.Accommodatingherselftocircumstances,Berthafoundlifelesstediousitwasacalmriver,andpresentlyshecametotheconclusionthatitranmoreeasilywithoutthecascadesandwaterfalls,theeddies,whirlpoolsandrocks,whichhaddisturbeditscourse.Themanwhocanstilldupehimselfwithillusionshasafuturenotlackinginbrightness. Thesummerbroughtacertainvariety,andBerthafoundamusementinthingswhichbeforehadneverinterestedher.Shewenttoshelteredpartstoseeiffavouritewildflowershadbeguntoblow:herloveoflibertymadeherpreferthehedge-rosestothepompousbloomsofthegarden,thebuttercupsanddaisiesofthefieldtotheprimgeranium,andthecalcellaria.Timefledandshewassurprisedtofindtheyearpassimperceptibly.Shebegantoreadwithgreaterzest,andinherfavouriteseat,onthesofabythewindow,spentlonghoursofpleasure.Shereadasfancypromptedher,withoutaplan,becauseshewishedandnotbecausesheought(howcantheysaythatEnglandisdecadentwhenitsyoungladiesaresostrenuous!).Sheobtainedpleasurebycontrastingdifferentwriters,gainingemotionsfromthegravityofoneandthefrivolityofthenext.ShewentfromthelatestnoveltotheOrlandoFurioso,fromtheEuphuesofJohnLyly(mostentertainingandwhimsicalofbooks!)tothepassionatecorruptionofVerlaine.Withalifetimebeforeher,thelengthofbookswasnohindrance,andshestartedboldlyupontheeightvolumesoftheDeclineandFall,uponthemanytomesofSt.Simon:andsheneverhesitatedtoputthemasideafterahundredpages. Berthafoundrealitytolerablewhenitwasmerelyabackground,afoiltothefantastichappeningsofoldbooks.Shelookedatthegreentrees,andthesongofbirdsmingledagreeablywithherthoughtsstilloccupied,perhaps,withtheDolorousKnightofLaMancha,withManonLescaut,orwiththejoyousbandthatwandersthroughtheDecameron.Withgreaterknowledgecamegreatercuriosity,andsheforsookthebroadhighroadsofliteratureforthemountainpathwaysofsomeobscurepoet,forthebridle-tracksoftheSpanishpicaroon.Shefoundunexpectedsatisfactioninthehalf-forgottenmasterpiecesofthepast,inpoetsnotquitedivinewhomfashionhadleftononeside,intheplaywrights,andnovelists,andessayists,whoseremembrancelivesonlywiththebookworm.Itisareliefsometimestolookawayfromthebrightsunofperfectachievementandthewriterswhoappealedtotheirageandnottoposterity,have