Chapter XXXII
關燈
小
中
大
ssed.Itwaspastsixwhensheslippedoutoftheroomandmadeherwaydownstairs.Thestreetwasemptyasinthenightbuttheskywasblueandtheairfreshandsweet,shetookalongbreathandfeltcuriouslyelated.Shewalkedtillshefoundacab,andtoldthedrivertogoquicklytoEuston.Thecabcrawledalong,andshewasinanagonyofimpatience.Supposingshearrivedtoolate?Shetoldthemantohurry.
TheLiverpooltrainwasfairlyfullbutBerthawalkingupthecrowdedplatformquicklysawGerald.Hesprangtowardsher.
“Berthayou’vecome.Ifeltcertainyouwouldn’tletmegowithoutseeingyou.”
Hetookherhandsandlookedatherwitheyesfulloflove.
“I’msogladyou’vecome,”hesaidatlast.“Iwant—Iwanttobegyourpardon.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”whisperedBertha,andsuddenlyshefeltadreadfulfearwhichgrippedherheartwithunendurablepain.
“I’vebeenthinkingofyouallnight,andI’mdreadfullyashamedofmyself.ImusttellyouhowsorryIamthatI’vecausedyouunhappiness.IwasselfishandbrutalIonlythoughtofmyself.Iforgothowmuchyouhadtolose.Pleaseforgiveme,Bertha.”
“Oh,Gerald,Gerald.”
“Ishallalwaysbegratefultoyou,Bertha.IknowI’vebeenabeast,butnowI’mgoingtoturnoveranewleaf.Yousee,youhavereformedmeafterall.”
Hetriedtosmileinhisold,light-heartedmannerbutitwasaverypoorattempt.Berthalookedathim.Shewishedtosaythatshelovedhimwithallherheart,andwasreadytoaccompanyhimtotheworld’sendbutthewordsstuckinherthroat.
“Idon’tknowwhathashappenedtome,”hesaid,“butIseemtoseeeverythingnowsodifferently.OfcourseitismuchbetterthatI’mgoingawaybutit’sdreadfullyhard.”
Aninspectorcametolookatthetickets.“Istheladygoing?”
“No,”saidGeraldandthen,whenthemanhadpassed:“Youwon’tforgetme,Bertha,willyou?Youwon’tthinkbadlyofmeIlostmyhead.Ididn’trealisetilllastnightthatIwantedtodoyouthemostfrightfulwrong.Ididn’tunderstandthatIshouldhaveruinedyouandyourwholelife.”
AtlastBerthaforcedherselftospeak.Thetimewasflying,andshecouldnotunderstandwhatwaspassinginGerald’smind.
“IfyouonlyknewhowmuchIloveyou!”shecried.
Hehadbuttoaskhertogoandshewouldgo.Buthedidnotask.Washerepentingalready?Washislovealreadyonthewane?Berthatriedtomakeherselfspeakagain,butcouldnot.Whydidhenotrepeatthathecouldnotlivewithouther!
“Takeyourseats,please!Takeyourseats,please!”
Aguardranalongtheplatform.“Jumpin,sir.Rightbehind!”
“Good-bye,”saidGerald.“MayIwritetoyou?”
Sheshookherhead.Itwastoolatenow.
“Jumpin,sir.Jumpin.”
Geraldkissedherquicklyandgotintothecarriage.
“Rightaway!”
Theguardblewhiswhistleandwavedaflag,andthetrainpuffedslowlyoutofthestation.