Chapter XXVIII

I’lltell’emallaboutyouit’llmakethembeastlysick.” Bertharaisedhereyebrows.“Anddoyouobjecttofrumps?” “Isimplyloathethem.Atthelasttutor’sIwasat,theoldchap’swifewasthemostawfuloldgeezeryoueversaw.SoIwroteandtoldmymaterthatIwasafraidmymoralswerebeingcorrupted.” “Anddidshetakeyouaway?” “Well,byacuriouscoincidence,theoldchapwrotetheverysameday,andtoldthepaterifhedidn’tremovemehe’dgivemetheshoot.SoIsentinmyresignation,andtoldhimhiscigarswerepoisonous,andclearedout.” “Don’tyouthinkyou’dbettersitonachair?”saidBertha.“Youmustbeveryuncomfortableonthatfootstool.” “Ohno,notatall.AfteraTurkeycarpetandadining-roomtable,there’snothingsocomfyasafootstool.Achairalwaysmakesmefeelrespectable—anddull.” BerthathoughtGeraldratheranicename. “HowlongareyoustayinginLondon?” “Oh,onlyamonth,worseluck.ThenI’vegottogototheStatestomakemyfortuneandreform.” “Ihopeyouwill.” “Which?Onecan’tdobothatonce,youknow.Youmakeyourmoneyfirst,andyoureformafterwards,ifyou’vegottime.Butwhateverhappens,it’llbeagoodsightbetterthansweatingawayataneverlastingcrammer’s.IfthereisonemanIcan’tstickatanypriceit’sthearmycrammer.” “Youhavealargeexperienceofthem,Iunderstand.” “Iwishyoudidn’tknowallmypasthistory.NowIshan’thavethesportoftellingyou.” “Idon’tthinkitwouldbeedifying.” “Ohyes,itwould.Itwouldshowyouhowvirtueisdowntrodden(that’sme),andhowviceistriumphant.I’mawfullyunluckypeoplesortofconspiretogethertolookatmyactionsfromthewrongpointofview.I’vehadjollyroughluckallthrough.FirstIwasbunkedfromRugby.Well,thatwasn’tmyfault.Iwasquitewillingtostay,andI’mblowedifIwasworsethananybodyelse.Thepaterblackguardedmeforsixweeks,andsaidIwasbringinghisgreyhairswithsorrowtothegrave.Well,youknow,he’ssimplyawfullybaldsoatlastIcouldn’thelpsayingthatIdidn’tknowwherehisgreyhairsweregoingto,butitdidn’tmuchlookasifhemeanttoaccompanythem.So,afterthat,hesentmetoacrammerwhoplayedpoker.Well,heskinnedmeofeveryshillingI’dgot,andthenwroteandtoldthepaterIwasanimmoralyoungdog,andcorruptinghishouse.” “Ithinkwe’dbetterchangethesubject,Gerald,”saidBertha. “Oh,butyoumusthavethesequel.ThenextplaceIwentto,IfoundnoneoftheotherfellowsknewpokersoofcourseIthoughtitasortofmercifulinterpositionofProvidencetohelpmetorecoupmyself.Itold’emnottolayuptreasuresinthisworld,andwallopedinthirtyquidinfourdaysthentheoldth