Chapter XXVIII

atatEliotMansions,whenBertha,comingintobreakfastonemorning,foundMissLeyinagreatstateofsuppressedamusement.Shewasquiveringlikeanuncoiledspringandshepeckedathertoastandatheregginabirdlikemanner,whichBerthaknewcouldonlymeanthatsomeonehadmadeafoolofhimself,tothegreatentertainmentofheraunt.Berthabegantolaugh. “GoodHeavens,”shecried,“whathashappened?” “Mydear—aterriblecatastrophe.”MissLeyrepressedasmile,buthereyesgleamedanddancedasthoughshewereayoungwoman.“Youdon’tknowGeraldVaudrey,doyou?Butyouknowwhoheis.” “Ibelievehe’sacousinofmine.” Bertha’sfather,whomadeapracticeofquarrellingwithallhisrelations,hadfoundinGeneralVaudreyabrother-in-lawasirascibleashimselfsothatthetwofamilieshadneverbeenonspeakingterm. “I’vejusthadaletterfromhismothertosaythathe’sbeen—er,philanderingratherviolentlywithhermaid,andthey’reallindespair.Themaidhasbeensentawayinhysterics,hismotherandhissisterareintears,andtheGeneral’sinapassionandsayshewon’thavetheboyinhishouseanotherday.Andthelittlewretchisonlynineteen.Disgraceful,isn’tit?” “Disgraceful!”saidBertha,smiling.“IwonderwhatthereisinaFrenchmaidthatsmallboysshouldinvariablymakelovetoher.” “Oh,mydear,ifyouonlysawmysister’smaid.She’sfortyifshe’saday,andhercomplexionislikeparchmentverymuchtheworseforwear....ButtheawfulpartofitisthatyourAuntBettybeseechesmetolookaftertheboy.He’sgoingtoFloridainamonth,andmeanwhilehe’stostayinLondon.Now,whatIwanttoknow,ishowamItokeepadissoluteinfantoutofmischief.Isitthesortofthingthatonewouldexpectofme?” MissLeywavedherarmswithcomicdesperation. “Oh,butit’llbegreatfun.We’llreformhimtogether.We’llleadhimonapathwhereFrenchmaidsarenottobemetateveryturnandcorner.” “Mydear,youdon’tknowwhatheis.He’sanutteryoungscamp.HewasexpelledfromRugby.He’sbeentohalf-a-dozencrammers,becausetheywantedhimtogotoSandhurst,butheutterlyrefusedtoworkandhe’sbeenploughedineveryexamhe’sgoneinfor—evenforthemilitia.Sonowhisfatherhasgivenhimfivehundredpoundsandtoldhimtogotothedevil.” “Howrude!ButwhyshouldthepoorboygotoFlorida?” “Isuggestedthat.Iknowsomepeoplewho’vegotanorangeplantationthere.AndIdaresaythattheviewofseveralmilesoforangeblossomwillsuggesttohimthatpromiscuousflirtationmayhaveunpleasantresults.” “IthinkIshalllikehim,”saidBertha. “Ihavenodoubtyouwillhe’sanutterscampandratherpretty.” Nextday,whenB