Chapter II

oryoursakethatIhadnohopelessamour.Theonlyexcuseforanoldmaidis,thatshehaspinedthirtyyearsforaloverwhoisburiedunderthesnow-drops,orhasmarriedanother.” Berthamadenoanswershewasfeelingthattheworldhadturnedgood,andwantedtohearnothingthatcouldsuggestimperfectionsinhumannature:suddenlytherehadcomeovertheuniverseaSunday-schoolairwhichappealedtoherbetterself.Goingupstairsshesatatthewindow,gazingtowardsthefarmwherelivedherheart’sdesire.ShewonderedwhatEdwardwasdoing!washeawaitingthenightasanxiouslyasshe?Itgaveherquiteapangthatasizeablehillshouldintervenebetweenherselfandhim.Duringdinnershehardlyspoke,andMissLeywasmercifullysilent.Berthacouldnoteatshecrumbledherbreadandtoyedwiththevariousmeatsputbeforeher.Shelookedattheclockadozentimes,andstartedabsurdlywhenitstruckthehour. ShedidnottroubletomakeanyexcusetoMissLey,whomshelefttothinkasshechose.ThenightwasdarkandcoldBerthaslippedoutoftheside-doorwithadelightfulfeelingofdoingsomethingventuresome.Butherlegswouldscarcelycarryher,shehadasensationthatwasentirelynovelneverbeforehadsheexperiencedthatutterweaknessofthekneessothatshefearedtofallherbreathingwasstrangelyoppressive,andherheartbeatalmostpainfully.Shewalkeddownthecarriage-drivescarcelyknowingwhatshedid.Shehadforcedherselftowaitindoorstillthedesiretogooutbecameuncontrollable,andshedarednotimagineherdismayiftherewasnoonetomeetherwhenshereachedthegate.Itwouldmeanhedidnotlovehershestoppedwithasob.Oughtshenottowaitlonger?Itwasstillearly.Butherimpatienceforcedheron. Shegavealittlecry.Craddockhadsuddenlysteppedoutofthedarkness. “Oh,I’msorry,”hesaid,“Ifrightenedyou.Ithoughtyouwouldn’tmindmycomingthisevening.You’renotangry?” Shecouldnotansweritwasanimmenseloadoffherheart.Shewasextremelyhappy,forthenhedidloveherandhefearedshewasangrywithhim. “Iexpectedyou,”shewhispered.Whatwasthegoodofpretendingtobemodestandbashful?Shelovedhimandhelovedher.Whyshouldshenottellhimallshefelt? “It’ssodark,”hesaid,“Ican’tseeyou.” Shewastoodeliriouslyhappytospeak,andtheonlywordsshecouldhavesaidwere,Iloveyou,Iloveyou.Shemovedastepnearerso