CHAPTER XXXV. FRATERNITY.

“OubliezlesProfesseurs.”SosaidMadameBeck.MadameBeckwasawisewoman,butsheshouldnothaveutteredthosewords.Todosowasamistake.Thatnightsheshouldhaveleftmecalm—notexcited,indifferent,notinterested,isolatedinmyownestimationandthatofothers—notconnected,eveninidea,withthissecondpersonwhomIwastoforget. Forgethim?Ah!theytookasageplantomakemeforgethim—thewiseheads!Theyshowedmehowgoodhewastheymadeofmydearlittlemanastainlesslittlehero.Andthentheyhadpratedabouthismannerofloving.WhatmeanshadI,beforethisday,ofbeingcertainwhetherhecouldloveatallornot? Ihadknownhimjealous,suspiciousIhadseenabouthimcertaintendernesses,fitfulnesses—asoftnesswhichcamelikeawarmair,andaruthwhichpassedlikeearlydew,driedintheheatofhisirritabilities:thiswasallIhadseen.Andthey,PèreSilasandModesteMariaBeck(thatthesetwowroughtinconcertIcouldnotdoubt)openeduptheadytumofhisheart—showedmeonegrandlove,thechildofthissouthernnature’syouth,bornsostrongandperfect,thatithadlaughedatDeathhimself,despisedhismeanrapeofmatter,clungtoimmortalspirit,andinvictoryandfaith,hadwatchedbesideatombtwentyyears. Thishadbeendone—notidly:thiswasnotamerehollowindulgenceofsentimenthehadprovenhisfidelitybytheconsecrationofhisbestenergiestoanunselfishpurpose,andattesteditbylimitlesspersonalsacrifices:forthoseoncedeartoherheprized—hehadlaiddownvengeance,andtakenupacross. Now,asforJustineMarie,IknewwhatshewasaswellasifIhadseenher.IknewshewaswellenoughthereweregirlslikeherinMadameBeck’sschool—phlegmatics—pale,slow,inert,butkind-natured,neutralofevil,undistinguishedforgood. Ifsheworeangels’wings,Iknewwhosepoet-fancyconferredthem.Ifherforeheadshoneluminouswiththereflexofahalo,Iknewinthefireofwhoseiridsthatcircletofholyflamehadgeneration. WasI,then,tobefrightenedbyJustineMarie?Wasthepictureofapaledeadnuntorise,aneternalbarrier?Andwhatofthecharitieswhichabsorbedhisworldlygoods?Whatofhisheartsworntovirginity? MadameBeck—PèreSilas—youshouldnothavesuggestedthesequestions.Theywereatoncethedeepestpuzzle,thestrongestobstruction,andthekeeneststimulus,Ihadeverfelt.ForaweekofnightsanddaysIfellasleep—Idreamt,andIwokeuponthesetwoquestions.Inthewholeworldtherewasnoanswertothem,exceptwhereonedarklittlemanstood,sat,walked,lectured,underthehead-pieceofabanditbonnet-grec,andwithinthegirthofasorrypalet?t,muchbe-inked,andnolittleadust. AfterthatvisittotheRuedesMages,Ididwanttoseehimagain.Ifeltasif—knowingwhatInowknew—hiscountenancewouldofferapagemorelucid,moreinterestingthaneverIfeltalongingtotraceinittheimprintofthatprimitivedevotedness,thesignsofthathalf-knightly,half-saintlychivalrywhichthepriest’snarrativeimputedtohisnature.HehadbecomemyChristianhero:underthatcharacterIwantedtoviewhim. Norwasopportunityslowtofavourmynewimpressionsunderwenthertestthenextday.Yes:Iwasgrantedaninterviewwithmy“Christianhero”—aninterviewnotveryheroic,orsentimental,orbiblical,butlivelyenoughinitsway. Aboutthreeo’clockoftheafternoon,thepeaceofthefirstclasse—safelyestablished,asitseemed,underthesereneswayofMadameBeck,who,inpropriapersonawasgivingoneofherorderlyandusefullessons—thispeace,Isay,sufferedasuddenfracturebythewildinburstofapalet?t. Nobodyatthemomentwasquieterthanmyself.EasedofresponsibilitybyMadameBeck’spresence,soothedbyheruniformtones,pleasedandedifiedwithherclearexpositionofthesubjectinhand(forshetaughtwell),Isatbentovermydesk,drawing—thatis,copyinganelaboratelineengraving,tediouslyworkingupmycopytothefinishoftheoriginal,forthatwasmypracticalnotionofartand,strangetosay,Itookextremepleasureinthelabour,andcouldevenproducecuriouslyfinicalChinesefacsimilesofsteelormezzotintplates—thingsaboutasvaluableassomanyachievementsinworsted-work,butIthoughtprettywelloftheminthosedays. Whatwasthematter?Mydrawing,mypencils,mypreciouscopy,gatheredintoonecrushed-uphandful,perishedfrombeforemysightImyselfappearedtobeshakenoremptiedoutofmychair,asasolitaryandwitherednutmegmightbeemptiedoutofaspice-boxbyanexcitedcook.Thatchairandmydesk,seizedbythewildpalet?t,oneundereachsleeve,wereborneafarinasecond,IfollowedthefurnitureintwominutestheyandIwerefixedinthecentreofthegrandsalle—avastadjoiningroom,seldomusedsavefordancingandchoralsinging-lessons—fixedwithanemphasiswhichseemedtoprohibittheremotesthopeofoureverbeingpermittedtostirthenceagain. Havingpartiallycollectedmyscaredwits,Ifoundmyselfinthepresenceoftwomen,gentlemen,IsupposeIshouldsay—onedark,theothe