CHAPTER XVIII. WE QUARREL.

dtheflame.Isubmittedtobelookeduponasthehumiliated,cast-off,andnowpiningconfidanteofthedistinguishedMissFanshawe:but,reader,itwasahardsubmission. “Yet,yousee,”continuedGraham,“whileIcomfortyou,IcannottakethesameconsolationtomyselfIcannothopeshewilldomejustice.DeHamalismostworthless,yetIfearhepleasesher:wretcheddelusion!” Mypatiencereallygaveway,andwithoutnotice:allatonce.Isupposeillnessandweaknesshadwornitandmadeitbrittle. “Dr.Bretton,”Ibrokeout,“thereisnodelusionlikeyourown.Onallpointsbutoneyouareaman,frank,healthful,right-thinking,clear-sighted:onthisexceptionalpointyouarebutaslave.Ideclare,whereMissFanshaweisconcerned,youmeritnorespectnorhaveyoumine.” Igotup,andlefttheroomverymuchexcited. ThislittlescenetookplaceinthemorningIhadtomeethimagainintheevening,andthenIsawIhaddonemischief.Hewasnotmadeofcommonclay,notputtogetheroutofvulgarmaterialswhiletheoutlinesofhisnaturehadbeenshapedwithbreadthandvigour,thedetailsembracedworkmanshipofalmostfemininedelicacy:finer,muchfiner,thanyoucouldbepreparedtomeetwiththanyoucouldbelieveinherentinhim,evenafteryearsofacquaintance.Indeed,tillsomeover-sharpcontactwithhisnerveshadbetrayed,byitseffects,theiracutesensibility,thiselaborateconstructionmustbeignoredandthemoreespeciallybecausethesympatheticfacultywasnotprominentinhim:tofeel,andtoseizequicklyanother’sfeelings,areseparatepropertiesafewconstructionspossessboth,someneither.Dr.JohnhadtheoneinexquisiteperfectionandbecauseIhaveadmittedthathewasnotendowedwiththeotherinequaldegree,thereaderwillconsideratelyrefrainfrompassingtoanextreme,andpronouncinghim_un_sympathizing,unfeeling:onthecontrary,hewasakind,generousman.Makeyourneedknown,hishandwasopen.Putyourgriefintowords,heturnednodeafear.Expectrefinementsofperception,miraclesofintuition,andrealizedisappointment.Thisnight,whenDr.Johnenteredtheroom,andmettheeveninglamp,Isawwellandatoneglancehiswholemechanism. Toonewhohadnamedhim“slave,”and,onanypoint,bannedhimfromrespect,hemustnowhavepeculiarfeelings.Thattheepithetwaswellapplied,andthebanjust,mightbeheputforthnodenialthatitwasso:hismindevencandidlyrevolvedthatunmanningpossibility.Hesoughtinthisaccusationthecauseofthatill-successwhichhadgotsogallingaholdonhismentalpeace:Amidtheworryofaself-condemnatorysoliloquy,hisdemeanourseemedgrave,perhapscold,bothtomeandhismother.Andyettherewasnobadfeeling,nomalice,norancour,nolittlenessinhiscountenance,beautifulwithaman’sbestbeauty,eveninitsdepression.WhenIplacedhischairatthetable,whichIhastenedtodo,anticipatingtheservant,andwhenIhandedhimhistea,whichIdidwithtremblingcare,hesaid:“T