CHAPTER XVII. LA TERRASSE.

Thesestruggleswiththenaturalcharacter,thestrongnativebentoftheheart,mayseemfutileandfruitless,butintheendtheydogood.Theytend,howeverslightly,togivetheactions,theconduct,thatturnwhichReasonapproves,andwhichFeeling,perhaps,toooftenopposes:theycertainlymakeadifferenceinthegeneraltenourofalife,andenableittobebetterregulated,moreequable,quieteronthesurfaceanditisonthesurfaceonlythecommongazewillfall.Astowhatliesbelow,leavethatwithGod.Man,yourequal,weakasyou,andnotfittobeyourjudge,maybeshutoutthence:takeittoyourMaker—showHimthesecretsofthespiritHegave—askHimhowyouaretobearthepainsHehasappointed—kneelinHispresence,andpraywithfaithforlightindarkness,forstrengthinpiteousweakness,forpatienceinextremeneed.Certainly,atsomehour,thoughperhapsnotyourhour,thewaitingwaterswillstirinsomeshape,thoughperhapsnottheshapeyoudreamed,whichyourheartloved,andforwhichitbled,thehealingheraldwilldescend,thecrippleandtheblind,andthedumb,andthepossessedwillbeledtobathe.Herald,comequickly!Thousandslieroundthepool,weepinganddespairing,toseeit,throughslowyears,stagnant.Longarethe“times”ofHeaven:theorbitsofangelmessengersseemwidetomortalvisiontheymayenringages:thecycleofonedepartureandreturnmayclaspunnumberedgenerationsanddust,kindlingtobriefsufferinglife,andthroughpain,passingbacktodust,maymeanwhileperishoutofmemoryagain,andyetagain.Tohowmanymaimedandmourningmillionsisthefirstandsoleangelvisitant,himeasternscallAzrael! Itriedtogetupnextmorning,butwhileIwasdressing,andatintervalsdrinkingcoldwaterfromthecarafeonmywashstand,withdesigntobraceupthattremblingweaknesswhichmadedressingsodifficult,incameMrs.Bretton. “Hereisanabsurdity!”washermorningaccost.“Notso,”sheadded,anddealingwithmeatonceinherownbrusque,energeticfashion—thatfashionwhichIusedformerlytoenjoyseeingappliedtoherson,andbyhimvigorouslyresisted—intwominutessheconsignedmecaptivetotheFrenchbed. “Thereyoulietillafternoon,”saidshe.“Myboyleftordersbeforehewentoutthatsuchshouldbethecase,andIcanassureyoumysonismasterandmustbeobeyed.Presentlyyoushallhavebreakfast.” Presentlyshebroughtthatmeal—broughtitwithherownactivehands—notleavingmetoservants.SheseatedherselfonthebedwhileIate.Nowitisnoteverybody,evenamongstourrespectedfriendsandesteemedacquaintance,whomweliketohavenearus,whomweliketowatchus,towaitonus,toapproachuswiththeproximityofanursetoapatient.Itisnoteveryfriendwhoseeyeisalightinasickroom,whosepresenceisthereasolace:butallthiswasMrs.Brettontomeallthisshehadeverbeen.Foodordrinkneverpleasedmesowellaswhenitcamethroughherhands.Idonotremembertheoccasionwhenherentranceintoaroomhadnotmadethatroomcheerier.Ournaturesownpredilectionsandantipathiesalikestrange.Therearepeoplefromwhomwesecretlyshrink,whomwewouldpersonallyavoid,thoughreasonconfessesthattheyaregoodpeople:thereareotherswithfaultsoftemper,&c.,evidentenough,besidewhomwelivecontent,asiftheairaboutthemdidusgood.Mygodmother’slivelyblackeyeandclearbrunettecheek,herwarm,prompthand,herself-reliantmood,herdecidedbearing,wereallbeneficialtomeastheatmosphereofsomesalubriousclimate.Hersonusedtocallher“theoldlady”itfilledmewithpleasantwondertonotehowthealacrityandpoweroffive-and-twentystillbreathedfromherandaroundher. “Iwouldbringmyworkhere,”shesaid,asshetookfrommetheemptiedteacup,“andsitwithyouthewholeday,ifthatoverbearingJohnGrahamhadnotputhisvetouponsuchaproceeding.‘Now,mamma,’hesaid,whenhewentout,‘takenotice,youarenottoknockup