CHAPTER IX. ISIDORE.
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Mytimewasnowwellandprofitablyfilledup.Whatwithteachingothersandstudyingcloselymyself,Ihadhardlyasparemoment.Itwaspleasant.IfeltIwasgetting,onnotlyingthestagnantpreyofmouldandrust,butpolishingmyfacultiesandwhettingthemtoakeenedgewithconstantuse.Experienceofacertainkindlaybeforeme,onnonarrowscale.Villetteisacosmopolitancity,andinthisschoolweregirlsofalmosteveryEuropeannation,andlikewiseofveryvariedrankinlife.EqualityismuchpractisedinLabassecourthoughnotrepublicaninform,itisnearlysoinsubstance,andatthedesksofMadameBeck’sestablishmenttheyoungcountessandtheyoungbourgeoisesatsidebyside.Norcouldyoualwaysbyoutwardindicationsdecidewhichwasnobleandwhichplebeianexceptthat,indeed,thelatterhadoftenfrankerandmorecourteousmanners,whiletheformerboreawaythebellforadelicately-balancedcombinationofinsolenceanddeceit.IntheformertherewasoftenquickFrenchbloodmixedwiththemarsh-phlegm:Iregrettosaythattheeffectofthisvivaciousfluidchieflyappearedintheoilierglibnesswithwhichflatteryandfictionranfromthetongue,andinamannerlighterandlivelier,butquiteheartlessandinsincere.
Todoallpartiesjustice,thehonestaboriginalLabassecourienneshadanhypocrisyoftheirown,toobutitwasofacoarseorder,suchascoulddeceivefew.Wheneveraliewasnecessaryfortheiroccasions,theybroughtitoutwithacarelesseaseandbreadthaltogetheruntroubledbytherebukeofconscience.NotasoulinMadameBeck’shouse,fromthesculliontothedirectressherself,butwasabovebeingashamedofalietheythoughtnothingofit:toinventmightnotbepreciselyavirtue,butitwasthemostvenialoffaults.“J’aimentiplusieursfois,”formedanitemofeverygirl’sandwoman’smonthlyconfession:thepriestheardunshocked,andabsolvedunreluctant.Iftheyhadmissedgoingtomass,orreadachapterofanovel,thatwasanotherthing:thesewerecrimeswhereofrebukeandpenanceweretheunfailingweed.
Whileyetbuthalf-consciousofthisstateofthings,andunlearnedinitsresults,Igotoninmynewsphereverywell.Afterthefirstfewdifficultlessons,givenamidstperilandontheedgeofamoralvolcanothatrumbledundermyfeetandsentsparksandhotfumesintomyeyes,theeruptivespiritseemedtosubside,asfarasIwasconcerned.Mymindwasagooddealbentonsuccess:Icouldnotbearthethoughtofbeingbaffledbymereundisciplineddisaffectionandwantonindocility,inthisfirstattempttogetoninlife.ManyhoursofthenightIusedtolieawake,thinkingwhatplanIhadbestadopttogetareliableholdonthesemutineers,tobringthisstiff-neckedtribeunderpermanentinfluence.In,thefirstplace,IsawplainlythataidinnoshapewastobeexpectedfromMadame:herrighteousplanwastomaintainanunbrokenpopularitywiththepupils,atanyandeverycostofjusticeorcomforttotheteachers.Forateachertoseekherallianceinanycrisisofinsubordinationwasequivalenttosecuringherownexpulsion.Inintercoursewithherpupils,Madameonlytooktoherselfwhatwaspleasant,amiable,andrecommendatoryrigidlyrequiringofherlieutenantssufficiencyforeveryannoyingcrisis,wheretoactwithadequatepromptitudewastobeunpopular.Thus,Imustlookonlytomyself.
Imprimis—itwasclearasthedaythatthisswinishmultitudewerenottobedrivenbyforce.Theyweretobehumoured,bornewithverypatiently:acourteousthoughsedatemannerimpressedthemaveryrareflashofraillerydidgood.Severeorcontinuousmentalapplicationtheycouldnot,orwouldnot,bear:heavydemandonthememory,thereason,theattention,theyrejectedpoint-blank.WhereanEnglishgirlofnotmorethanaveragecapacityanddocilitywouldquietlytakeathemeandbindherselftothetaskofcomprehensionandmastery,aLabassecouriennewouldlaughinyourface,andthrowitbacktoyouwiththephrase,—“Dieu,quec’estdifficile!Jen’enveuxpas.Celam’ennuietrop.”
Ateacherwhounderstoodherbusinesswouldtakeitbackatonce,withouthesitation,contest,orexpostulation—proceedwithevenexaggeratedcaretosmootheeverydifficulty,toreduceittotheleveloftheirunderstandings,returnittothemthusmodified,andlayonthelashofsarcasmwithunsparinghand.Theywouldfeelthesting,perhapswincealittleunderitbuttheyborenomaliceagainstthissortofattack,providedthesneerwasnotsour,buthearty,andthatitheldwelluptothem,inaclear,light,andboldtype,sothatshewhoranmightread,theirincapacity,ignorance,andsloth.TheywouldriotforthreeadditionallinestoalessonbutIneverknewthemrebelagainstawoundgiventotheirself-respect:thelittletheyha