CHAPTER XXIV

tyassheboremeoverthehills.Iwasforcedtopassthefrontwindowstogettothecourt:itwasnousetryingtoconcealmypresence. “‘Youngmasterisinthehouse,’saidZillah,asshesawmemakingfortheparlour.IwentinEarnshawwastherealso,buthequittedtheroomdirectly.Lintonsatinthegreatarm-chairhalfasleepwalkinguptothefire,Ibeganinaserioustone,partlymeaningittobetrue— “‘Asyoudon’tlikeme,Linton,andasyouthinkIcomeonpurposetohurtyou,andpretendthatIdosoeverytime,thisisourlastmeeting:letussaygood-byeandtellMr.Heathcliffthatyouhavenowishtoseeme,andthathemustn’tinventanymorefalsehoodsonthesubject.’ “‘Sitdownandtakeyourhatoff,Catherine,’heanswered.‘YouaresomuchhappierthanIam,yououghttobebetter.Papatalksenoughofmydefects,andshowsenoughscornofme,tomakeitnaturalIshoulddoubtmyself.IdoubtwhetherIamnotaltogetherasworthlessashecallsme,frequentlyandthenIfeelsocrossandbitter,Ihateeverybody!Iamworthless,andbadintemper,andbadinspirit,almostalwaysand,ifyouchoose,youmaysaygood-bye:you’llgetridofanannoyance.Only,Catherine,domethisjustice:believethatifImightbeassweet,andaskind,andasgoodasyouare,Iwouldbeaswillingly,andmoreso,thanashappyandashealthy.AndbelievethatyourkindnesshasmademeloveyoudeeperthanifIdeservedyourlove:andthoughIcouldn’t,andcannothelpshowingmynaturetoyou,IregretitandrepentitandshallregretandrepentittillIdie!’ “IfelthespokethetruthandIfeltImustforgivehim:and,thoughweshouldquarrelthenextmoment,Imustforgivehimagain.Wewerereconciledbutwecried,bothofus,thewholetimeIstayed:notentirelyforsorrowyetIwassorryLintonhadthatdistortednature.He’llneverlethisfriendsbeatease,andhe’llneverbeateasehimself!Ihavealwaysgonetohislittleparlour,sincethatnightbecausehisfatherreturnedthedayafter. “Aboutthreetimes,Ithink,wehavebeenmerryandhopeful,aswewerethefirsteveningtherestofmyvisitsweredrearyandtroubled:nowwithhisselfishnessandspite,andnowwithhissufferings:butI’velearnedtoenduretheformerwithnearlyaslittleresentmentasthelatter.Mr.Heathcliffpurposelyavoidsme:Ihavehardlyseenhimatall.LastSunday,indeed,comingearlierthanusual,IheardhimabusingpoorLintoncruellyforhisconductofthenightbefore.Ican’ttellhowheknewofit,unlesshelistened.Lintonhadcertainlybehavedprovokingly:however,itwasthebusinessofnobodybutme,andIinterruptedMr.Heathcliff’slecturebyenteringandtellinghimso.Heburstintoalaugh,andwentaway,sayinghewasgladItookthatviewofthematter.Sincethen,I’vetoldLintonhemustwhisperhisbitterthings.Now,Ellen,youhaveheardall.Ican’tbepreventedfromgoingtoWutheringHeights,exceptbyinflictingmiseryontwopeoplewhereas,ifyou’llonlynottellpapa,mygoingneeddisturbthetranquillityofnone.You’llnottell,willyou?Itwillbeveryheartless,ifyoudo.” “I’llmakeupmymindonthatpointbyto-morrow,MissCatherine,”Ireplied.“ItrequiressomestudyandsoI’llleaveyoutoyourrest,andgothinkitover.” Ithoughtitoveraloud,inmymaster’spresencewalkingstraightfromherroomtohis,andrelatingthewholestory:withtheexceptionofherconversationswithhercousin,andanymentionofHareton.Mr.Lintonwasalarmedanddistressed,morethanhewouldacknowledgetome.Inthemorning,Catherinelearntmybetrayalofherconfidence,andshelearntalsothathersecretvisitsweretoend.Invainsheweptandwrithedagainsttheinterdict,andimploredherfathertohavepityonLinton:allshegottocomfortherwasapromisethathewouldwriteandgivehimleavetocometotheGrangewhenhepleasedbutexplainingthathemustnolongerexpecttoseeCatherineatWutheringHeights.Perhaps,hadhebeenawareofhisnephew’sdispositionandstateofhealth,hewouldhaveseenfittowithholdeventhatslightconsolation.