CHAPTER XXI

rousfondofstealingofftocornersbyherselfandoften,ifIcamenearhersuddenlywhilereading,shewouldstartandbendoverthebook,evidentlydesiroustohideitandIdetectededgesofloosepaperstickingoutbeyondtheleaves.Shealsogotatrickofcomingdownearlyinthemorningandlingeringaboutthekitchen,asifshewereexpectingthearrivalofsomethingandshehadasmalldrawerinacabinetinthelibrary,whichshewouldtrifleoverforhours,andwhosekeyshetookspecialcaretoremovewhensheleftit. Oneday,assheinspectedthisdrawer,Iobservedthattheplaythingsandtrinketswhichrecentlyformeditscontentsweretransmutedintobitsoffoldedpaper.MycuriosityandsuspicionswererousedIdeterminedtotakeapeepathermysterioustreasuresso,atnight,assoonassheandmymasterweresafeupstairs,Isearched,andreadilyfoundamongmyhousekeysonethatwouldfitthelock.Havingopened,Iemptiedthewholecontentsintomyapron,andtookthemwithmetoexamineatleisureinmyownchamber.ThoughIcouldnotbutsuspect,Iwasstillsurprisedtodiscoverthattheywereamassofcorrespondence—dailyalmost,itmusthavebeen—fromLintonHeathcliff:answerstodocumentsforwardedbyher.Theearlierdatedwereembarrassedandshortgradually,however,theyexpandedintocopiouslove-letters,foolish,astheageofthewriterrenderednatural,yetwithtoucheshereandtherewhichIthoughtwereborrowedfromamoreexperiencedsource.Someofthemstruckmeassingularlyoddcompoundsofardourandflatnesscommencinginstrongfeeling,andconcludingintheaffected,wordystylethataschoolboymightusetoafancied,incorporealsweetheart.WhethertheysatisfiedCathyIdon’tknowbuttheyappearedveryworthlesstrashtome.AfterturningoverasmanyasIthoughtproper,Itiedtheminahandkerchiefandsetthemaside,relockingthevacantdrawer. Followingherhabit,myyoungladydescendedearly,andvisitedthekitchen:Iwatchedhergotothedoor,onthearrivalofacertainlittleboyand,whilethedairymaidfilledhiscan,shetuckedsomethingintohisjacketpocket,andpluckedsomethingout.Iwentroundbythegarden,andlaidwaitforthemessengerwhofoughtvalorouslytodefendhistrust,andwespiltthemilkbetweenusbutIsucceededinabstractingtheepistleand,threateningseriousconsequencesifhedidnotlooksharphome,IremainedunderthewallandperusedMissCathy’saffectionatecomposition.Itwasmoresimpleandmoreeloquentthanhercousin’s:veryprettyandverysilly.Ishookmyhead,andwentmeditatingintothehouse.Thedaybeingwet,shecouldnotdivertherselfwithramblingabouttheparkso,attheconclusionofhermorningstudies,sheresortedtothesolaceofthedrawer.HerfathersatreadingatthetableandI,onpurpose,hadsoughtabitofworkinsomeunrippedfringesofthewindow-curtain,keepingmyeyesteadilyfixedonherproceedings.Neverdidanybirdflyingbacktoaplunderednest,whichithadleftbrimfulofchirpingyoungones,expressmorecompletedespair,initsanguishedcriesandflutterings,thanshebyhersingle“Oh!”andthechangethattransfiguredherlatehappycountenance.Mr.Lintonlookedup. “Whatisthematter,love?Haveyouhurtyourself?”hesaid. Histoneandlookassuredherhehadnotbeenthediscovererofthehoard. “No,papa!”shegasped.“Ellen!Ellen!comeupstairs—I’msick!” Iobeyedhersummons,andaccompaniedherout. “Oh,Ellen!youhavegotthem,”shecommencedimmediately,droppingonherknees,whenwewereenclosedalone.“Oh,givethemtome,andI’llnever,neverdosoagain!Don’ttellpapa.Youhavenottoldpapa,Ellen?sayyouhavenot?I’vebeenexceedinglynaughty,butIwon’tdoitanymore!” WithagraveseverityinmymannerIbadeherstandup. “So,”Iexclaimed,“MissCatherine,youaretolerablyfaron,itseems:youmaywellbeashamedofthem!Afinebundleoftrashyoustudyinyourleisurehours,tobesure:why,it’sgoodenoughtobeprinted!AndwhatdoyousupposethemasterwillthinkwhenIdisplayitbeforehim?Ihav’n’tshownityet,butyouneedn’timagineIshallkeepyourridiculoussecrets.Forshame!andyoumusthaveledthewayinwritingsuchabsurdities:hewouldnothavethoughtofbeginning,I’mcertain.” “Ididn’t!Ididn’t!”sobbedCathy,fittobreakherheart.“Ididn’toncethinkoflovinghimtill—” “Loving!”criedI,asscornfullyasIcoulduttertheword.“Loving!Didanybodyeverhearthelike!Imightjustaswelltalkoflovingthemillerwhocomesonceayeartobuyourcorn.Prettyloving,indeed!andbothtimestogetheryouhaveseenLintonhardlyfourhoursinyourlife!Nowhereisthebabyishtrash.I’mgoingwithittothelibraryandwe’llseewhatyourfathersaystosuchloving.” Shesprangatherpreciousepistles,butIheldthemabovemyheadandthenshepouredoutfurtherfranticentreatiesthatIwouldburnthem—doanythingratherthanshowthem.Andbeingreallyfullyasmuchinclinedtolaughasscold—forIesteemeditallgirlishvanity—Iatlengthrelentedinameasure,andasked,—“IfIconsenttoburnthem,willyoupromisefaithfullyneithertosendnorreceivealetteragain,norabook(forIperceiveyouhavesenthimbooks),norlocksofhair,norrings,norplaythings?” “Wedon’tsendplaythings,”criedCatherine,herprideovercominghershame. “Noranythingatall,then,mylady?”Isaid.“Unlessyouwill,hereIgo.” “Ipromise,Ellen!”shecried,catchingmydress.“Oh,puttheminthefire,do,do!” ButwhenIproceededtoopenaplacewiththepokerthesacrificewastoopainfultobeborne.SheearnestlysupplicatedthatIwouldspareheroneortwo. “Oneortwo,Ellen,tokeepforLinton’ssake!” Iunknottedthehandkerchief,andcommenceddroppingtheminfromanangle,andtheflamecurledupthechimney. “Iwillhaveone,youcruelwretch!”shescreamed,dartingherhandintothefire,anddrawingforthsomehalf-consumedfragments,attheexpenseofherfingers. “Verywell—andIwillhavesometoexhibittopapa!”Ianswered,shakingbacktherestintothebundle,andturninganewtothedoor. Sheemptiedherblackenedpiecesintotheflames,andmotionedmetofinishtheimmolation.ItwasdoneIstirreduptheashes,andinterredthemunderashovelfulofcoalsandshemutely,andwithasenseofintenseinjury,retiredtoherprivateapartment.Idescendedtotellmymasterthattheyounglady’squalmofsicknesswasalmostgone,butIjudgeditbestforhertoliedownawhile.Shewouldn’tdinebutshereappearedattea,pale,andredabouttheeyes,andmarvellouslysubduedinoutwardaspect.NextmorningIansweredtheletterbyaslipofpaper,inscribed,“MasterHeathcliffisrequestedtosendnomorenotestoMissLinton,asshewillnotreceivethem.”And,thenceforth,thelittleboycamewithvacantpockets.