CHAPTER XLVIII

mperhadbeeninastateofsuchirritationastomakehereverywheretormenting.NotevenFannyhadtearsforauntNorris,notevenwhenshewasgoneforever. ThatJuliaescapedbetterthanMariawasowing,insomemeasure,toafavourabledifferenceofdispositionandcircumstance,butinagreatertoherhavingbeenlessthedarlingofthatveryaunt,lessflatteredandlessspoilt.Herbeautyandacquirementshadheldbutasecondplace.ShehadbeenalwaysusedtothinkherselfalittleinferiortoMaria.Hertemperwasnaturallytheeasiestofthetwoherfeelings,thoughquick,weremorecontrollable,andeducationhadnotgivenhersoveryhurtfuladegreeofself-consequence. ShehadsubmittedthebesttothedisappointmentinHenryCrawford.Afterthefirstbitternessoftheconvictionofbeingslightedwasover,shehadbeentolerablysooninafairwayofnotthinkingofhimagainandwhentheacquaintancewasrenewedintown,andMr.Rushworth’shousebecameCrawford’sobject,shehadhadthemeritofwithdrawingherselffromit,andofchusingthattimetopayavisittoherotherfriends,inordertosecureherselffrombeingagaintoomuchattracted.Thishadbeenhermotiveingoingtohercousin’s.Mr.Yates’sconveniencehadhadnothingtodowithit.Shehadbeenallowinghisattentionssometime,butwithverylittleideaofeveracceptinghimandhadnothersister’sconductburstforthasitdid,andherincreaseddreadofherfatherandofhome,onthatevent,imaginingitscertainconsequencetoherselfwouldbegreaterseverityandrestraint,madeherhastilyresolveonavoidingsuchimmediatehorrorsatallrisks,itisprobablethatMr.Yateswouldneverhavesucceeded.Shehadnotelopedwithanyworsefeelingsthanthoseofselfishalarm.Ithadappearedtohertheonlythingtobedone.Maria’sguilthadinducedJulia’sfolly. HenryCrawford,ruinedbyearlyindependenceandbaddomesticexample,indulgedinthefreaksofacold-bloodedvanityalittletoolong.Onceithad,byanopeningundesignedandunmerited,ledhimintothewayofhappiness.Couldhehavebeensatisfiedwiththeconquestofoneamiablewoman’saffections,couldhehavefoundsufficientexultationinovercomingthereluctance,inworkinghimselfintotheesteemandtendernessofFannyPrice,therewouldhavebeeneveryprobabilityofsuccessandfelicityforhim.Hisaffectionhadalreadydonesomething.Herinfluenceoverhimhadalreadygivenhimsomeinfluenceoverher.Wouldhehavedeservedmore,therecanbenodoubtthatmorewouldhavebeenobtained,especiallywhenthatmarriagehadtakenplace,whichwouldhavegivenhimtheassistanceofherconscienceinsubduingherfirstinclination,andbroughtthemveryoftentogether.Wouldhehavepersevered,anduprightly,Fannymusthavebeenhisreward,andarewardveryvoluntarilybestowed,withinareasonableperiodfromEdmund’smarryingMary. Hadhedoneasheintended,andasheknewheought,bygoingdowntoEveringhamafterhisreturnfromPortsmouth,hemighthavebeendecidinghisownhappydestiny.ButhewaspressedtostayforMrs.Fraser’spartyhisstayingwasmadeofflatteringconsequence,andhewastomeetMrs.Rushworththere.Curiosityandvanitywerebothengaged,andthetemptationofimmediatepleasurewastoostrongforamindunusedtomakeanysacrificetoright:heresolvedtodeferhisNorfolkjourney,resolvedthatwritingshouldanswerthepurposeofit,orthatitspurposewasunimportant,andstaid.HesawMrs.Rushworth,wasreceivedbyherwithacoldnesswhichoughttohavebeenrepulsive,andhaveestablishedapparentindifferencebetweenthemforeverbuthewasmortified,hecouldnotbeartobethrownoffbythewomanwhosesmileshadbeensowhollyathiscommand:hemustexerthimselftosubduesoproudadisplayofresentmentitwasangeronFanny’saccounthemustgetthebetterofit,andmakeMrs.RushworthMariaBertramagaininhertreatmentofhimself. Inthisspirithebegantheattack,andbyanimatedperseverancehadsoonre-establishedthesortoffamiliarintercourse,ofgallantry,offlirtation,whichboundedhisviewsbutintriumphingoverthediscretionwhich,thoughbeginninginanger,mighthavesavedthemboth,hehadputhimselfinthepoweroffeelingsonhersidemorestrongthanhehadsupposed.Shelovedhimtherewasnowithdrawingattentionsavowedlydeartoher.Hewasentangledbyhisownvanity,withaslittleexcuseofloveaspossible,andwithoutthesmallestinconstancyofmindtowardshercousin.TokeepFannyandtheBertramsfromaknowledgeofwhatwaspassingbecamehisfirstobject.SecrecycouldnothavebeenmoredesirableforMrs.Rushworth’screditthanhefeltitforhisown.WhenhereturnedfromRichmond,hewouldhavebeengladtoseeMrs.Rushworthnomore.Allthatfollowedwastheresultofherimprudenceandhewentoffwithheratlast,becausehecouldnothelpit,regrettingFannyevenatthemoment,butregrettingherinfinitelymorewhenallthebustleoftheintriguewasover,andaveryfewmonthshadtaughthim,bytheforc