CHAPTER XL

geofSusan,andahopeofbeingofservicetoher.Susanhadalwaysbehavedpleasantlytoherself,butthedeterminedcharacterofhergeneralmannershadastonishedandalarmedher,anditwasatleastafortnightbeforeshebegantounderstandadispositionsototallydifferentfromherown.Susansawthatmuchwaswrongathome,andwantedtosetitright.Thatagirloffourteen,actingonlyonherownunassistedreason,shoulderrinthemethodofreform,wasnotwonderfulandFannysoonbecamemoredisposedtoadmirethenaturallightofthemindwhichcouldsoearlydistinguishjustly,thantocensureseverelythefaultsofconducttowhichitled.Susanwasonlyactingonthesametruths,andpursuingthesamesystem,whichherownjudgmentacknowledged,butwhichhermoresupineandyieldingtemperwouldhaveshrunkfromasserting.Susantriedtobeuseful,whereshecouldonlyhavegoneawayandcriedandthatSusanwasusefulshecouldperceivethatthings,badastheywere,wouldhavebeenworsebutforsuchinterposition,andthatbothhermotherandBetseywererestrainedfromsomeexcessesofveryoffensiveindulgenceandvulgarity. Ineveryargumentwithhermother,Susanhadinpointofreasontheadvantage,andneverwasthereanymaternaltendernesstobuyheroff.Theblindfondnesswhichwasforeverproducingevilaroundhershehadneverknown.Therewasnogratitudeforaffectionpastorpresenttomakeherbetterbearwithitsexcessestotheothers. Allthisbecamegraduallyevident,andgraduallyplacedSusanbeforehersisterasanobjectofmingledcompassionandrespect.Thathermannerwaswrong,however,attimesverywrong,hermeasuresoftenill-chosenandill-timed,andherlooksandlanguageveryoftenindefensible,Fannycouldnotceasetofeelbutshebegantohopetheymightberectified.Susan,shefound,lookeduptoherandwishedforhergoodopinionandnewasanythinglikeanofficeofauthoritywastoFanny,newasitwastoimagineherselfcapableofguidingorinforminganyone,shedidresolvetogiveoccasionalhintstoSusan,andendeavourtoexerciseforheradvantagethejusternotionsofwhatwasduetoeverybody,andwhatwouldbewisestforherself,whichherownmorefavourededucationhadfixedinher. Herinfluence,oratleasttheconsciousnessanduseofit,originatedinanactofkindnessbySusan,which,aftermanyhesitationsofdelicacy,sheatlas