CHAPTER XXXI

werein.Itwasnotimeforfartherassurancesorentreaty,thoughtopartwithheratamomentwhenhermodestyaloneseemed,tohissanguineandpreassuredmind,tostandinthewayofthehappinesshesought,wasacruelnecessity.Sherushedoutatanoppositedoorfromtheoneherunclewasapproaching,andwaswalkingupanddowntheEastroomintheutmostconfusionofcontraryfeeling,beforeSirThomas’spolitenessorapologieswereover,orhehadreachedthebeginningofthejoyfulintelligencewhichhisvisitorcametocommunicate. Shewasfeeling,thinking,tremblingabouteverythingagitated,happy,miserable,infinitelyobliged,absolutelyangry.Itwasallbeyondbelief!Hewasinexcusable,incomprehensible!Butsuchwerehishabitsthathecoulddonothingwithoutamixtureofevil.Hehadpreviouslymadeherthehappiestofhumanbeings,andnowhehadinsulted—sheknewnotwhattosay,howtoclass,orhowtoregardit.Shewouldnothavehimbeserious,andyetwhatcouldexcusetheuseofsuchwordsandoffers,iftheymeantbuttotrifle? ButWilliamwasalieutenant.Thatwasafactbeyondadoubt,andwithoutanalloy.Shewouldthinkofitforeverandforgetalltherest.Mr.Crawfordwouldcertainlyneveraddresshersoagain:hemusthaveseenhowunwelcomeitwastoherandinthatcase,howgratefullyshecouldesteemhimforhisfriendshiptoWilliam! ShewouldnotstirfartherfromtheEastroomthantheheadofthegreatstaircase,tillshehadsatisfiedherselfofMr.Crawford’shavingleftthehousebutwhenconvincedofhisbeinggone,shewaseagertogodownandbewithheruncle,andhaveallthehappinessofhisjoyaswellasherown,andallthebenefitofhisinformationorhisconjecturesastowhatwouldnowbeWilliam’sdestination.SirThomaswasasjoyfulasshecoulddesire,andverykindandcommunicativeandshehadsocomfortableatalkwithhimaboutWilliamastomakeherfeelasifnothinghadoccurredtovexher,tillshefound,towardstheclose,thatMr.Crawfordwasengagedtoreturnanddinetherethatveryday.Thiswasamostunwelcomehearing,forthoughhemightthinknothingofwhathadpassed,itwouldbequitedistressingtohertoseehimagainsosoon. Shetriedtogetthebetterofittriedveryhard,asthedinnerhourapproached,tofeelandappearasusualbutitwasquiteimpossibleforhernottolookmostshyanduncomfortablewhentheirvisitorenteredtheroom.ShecouldnothavesupposeditinthepowerofanyconcurrenceofcircumstancestogivehersomanypainfulsensationsonthefirstdayofhearingofWilliam’spromotion. Mr.Crawfordwasnotonlyintheroom—hewassoonclosetoher.Hehadanotetodeliverfromhissister.Fannycouldnotlookathim,buttherewasnoconsciousnessofpastfollyinhisvoice.Sheopenedhernoteimmediately,gladtohaveanythingtodo,andhappy,asshereadit,tofeelthatthefidgetingsofherauntNorris,whowasalsotodinethere,screenedheralittlefromview. “MYDEARFANNY,—forsoImaynowalwayscallyou,totheinfinitereliefofatonguethathasbeenstumblingatMissPriceforatleastthelastsixweeks—Icannotletmybrothergowithoutsendingyouafewlinesofgeneralcongratulation,andgivingmymostjoyfulconsentandapproval.Goon,mydearFanny,andwithoutfeartherecanbenodifficultiesworthnaming.Ichusetosupposethattheassuranceofmyconsentwillbesomethingsoyoumaysmileuponhimwithyoursweetestsmilesthisafternoon,andsendhimbacktomeevenhappierthanhegoes. Yoursaffectionately, M.C.” ThesewerenotexpressionstodoFannyanygoodforthoughshereadintoomuchhasteandconfusiontoformtheclearestjudgmentofMissCrawford’smeaning,itwasevidentthatshemeanttocomplimentheronherbrother’sattachment,andeventoappeartobelieveitserious.Shedidnotknowwhattodo,orwhattothink.Therewaswretchednessintheideaofitsbeingserioustherewasperplexityandagit