CHAPTER XXVII
關燈
小
中
大
snipe-shootingEdmund,shehadtoomuchreasontosuppose,wasattheParsonageandleftalonetobeartheworryingofMrs.Norris,whowascrossbecausethehousekeeperwouldhaveherownwaywiththesupper,andwhomshecouldnotavoidthoughthehousekeepermight,Fannywasworndownatlasttothinkeverythinganevilbelongingtotheball,andwhensentoffwithapartingworrytodress,movedaslanguidlytowardsherownroom,andfeltasincapableofhappinessasifshehadbeenallowednoshareinit.
AsshewalkedslowlyupstairsshethoughtofyesterdayithadbeenaboutthesamehourthatshehadreturnedfromtheParsonage,andfoundEdmundintheEastroom.“SupposeIweretofindhimthereagainto-day!”saidshetoherself,inafondindulgenceoffancy.
“Fanny,”saidavoiceatthatmomentnearher.Startingandlookingup,shesaw,acrossthelobbyshehadjustreached,Edmundhimself,standingattheheadofadifferentstaircase.Hecametowardsher.“Youlooktiredandfagged,Fanny.Youhavebeenwalkingtoofar.”
“No,Ihavenotbeenoutatall.”
“Thenyouhavehadfatigueswithindoors,whichareworse.Youhadbetterhavegoneout.”
Fanny,notlikingtocomplain,founditeasiesttomakenoanswerandthoughhelookedatherwithhisusualkindness,shebelievedhehadsoonceasedtothinkofhercountenance.Hedidnotappearinspirits:somethingunconnectedwithherwasprobablyamiss.Theyproceededupstairstogether,theirroomsbeingonthesamefloorabove.
“IcomefromDr.Grant’s,”saidEdmundpresently.“Youmayguessmyerrandthere,Fanny.”Andhelookedsoconscious,thatFannycouldthinkbutofoneerrand,whichturnedhertoosickforspeech.“IwishedtoengageMissCrawfordforthetwofirstdances,”wastheexplanationthatfollowed,andbroughtFannytolifeagain,enablingher,asshefoundshewasexpectedtospeak,touttersomethinglikeaninquiryastotheresult.
“Yes,”heanswered,“sheisengagedtomebut”(withasmilethatdidnotsiteasy)“shesaysitistobethelasttimethatsheeverwilldancewithme.Sheisnotserious.Ithink,Ihope,IamsuresheisnotseriousbutIwouldrathernothearit.Sheneverhasdancedwithaclergyman,shesays,andsheneverwill.Formyownsake,Icouldwishtherehadbeennoballjustat—Imeannotthisveryweek,thisverydayto-morrowIleavehome.”
Fannystruggledforspeech,andsaid,“Iamverysorrythatanythinghasoccurredtodistressyou.Thisoughttobeadayofpleasure.Myunclemeantitso.”
“Ohyes,yes!anditwillbeadayofpleasure.Itwillallendright.Iamonlyvexedforamoment.Infact,itisnotthatIconsidertheballasill-timedwhatdoesitsignify?But,Fanny,”stoppingher,bytakingherhand,andspeakinglowandseriously,“youknowwhatallthismeans.Youseehowitisandcouldtellme,perhapsbetterthanIcouldtellyou,howandwhyIamvexed.Letmetalktoyoualittle.Youareakind,kindlistener.Ihavebeenpainedbyhermannerthismorning,andcannotgetthebetterofit.Iknowherdispositiontobeassweetandfaultlessasyourown,buttheinfluenceofherformercompanionsmakesherseem—givestoherconversation,toherprofessedopinions,sometimesatingeofwrong.Shedoesnotthinkevil,butshespeaksit,speaksitinplayfulnessandthoughIknowittobeplayfulness,itgrievesmetothesoul.”
“Theeffectofeducation,”saidFannygently.
Edmundcouldnotbutagreetoit.“Yes,thatuncleandaunt!Theyhaveinjuredthefinestmindforsometimes,Fanny,Iowntoyou,itdoesappearmorethanmanner:itappearsasiftheminditselfwastainted.”
Fannyimaginedthistobeanappealtoherjudgment,andtherefore,afteramoment’sconsideration,said,“Ifyouonlywantmeasalistener,cousin,IwillbeasusefulasIcanbutIamnotqualifiedforanadviser.Donotaskadviceofme.Iamnotcompetent.”
“Youareright,Fanny,toprotestagainstsuchanoffice,butyouneednotbeafraid.ItisasubjectonwhichIshouldneveraskadviceitisthesortofsubjectonwhichithadbetterneverbeaskedandfew,Iimagine,doaskit,butwhentheywanttobeinfluencedagainsttheirconscience.Ionlywanttotalkto
