CHAPTER XVI
關燈
小
中
大
todistrustmyself,andyet—ButitisabsolutelyimpossibletoletTomgooninthisway,ridingaboutthecountryinquestofanybodywhocanbepersuadedtoact—nomatterwhom:thelookofagentlemanistobeenough.IthoughtyouwouldhaveenteredmoreintoMissCrawford’sfeelings.”
“Nodoubtshewillbeveryglad.Itmustbeagreatrelieftoher,”saidFanny,tryingforgreaterwarmthofmanner.
“Sheneverappearedmoreamiablethaninherbehaviourtoyoulastnight.Itgaveheraverystrongclaimonmygoodwill.”
“Shewasverykind,indeed,andIamgladtohaveherspared”...
Shecouldnotfinishthegenerouseffusion.Herconsciencestoptherinthemiddle,butEdmundwassatisfied.
“Ishallwalkdownimmediatelyafterbreakfast,”saidhe,“andamsureofgivingpleasurethere.Andnow,dearFanny,Iwillnotinterruptyouanylonger.Youwanttobereading.ButIcouldnotbeeasytillIhadspokentoyou,andcometoadecision.Sleepingorwaking,myheadhasbeenfullofthismatterallnight.Itisanevil,butIamcertainlymakingitlessthanitmightbe.IfTomisup,Ishallgotohimdirectlyandgetitover,andwhenwemeetatbreakfastweshallbeallinhighgood-humourattheprospectofactingthefooltogetherwithsuchunanimity.You,inthemeanwhile,willbetakingatripintoChina,Isuppose.HowdoesLordMacartneygoon?”—openingavolumeonthetableandthentakingupsomeothers.“AndhereareCrabbe’sTales,andtheIdler,athandtorelieveyou,ifyoutireofyourgreatbook.IadmireyourlittleestablishmentexceedinglyandassoonasIamgone,youwillemptyyourheadofallthisnonsenseofacting,andsitcomfortablydowntoyourtable.Butdonotstayheretobecold.”
Hewentbuttherewasnoreading,noChina,nocomposureforFanny.Hehadtoldherthemostextraordinary,themostinconceivable,themostunwelcomenewsandshecouldthinkofnothingelse.Tobeacting!Afterallhisobjections—objectionssojustandsopublic!Afterallthatshehadheardhimsay,andseenhimlook,andknownhimtobefeeling.Coulditbepossible?Edmundsoinconsistent!Washenotdeceivinghimself?Washenotwrong?Alas!itwasallMissCrawford’sdoing.Shehadseenherinfluenceineveryspeech,andwasmiserable.Thedoubtsandalarmsastoherownconduct,whichhadpreviouslydistressedher,andwhichhadallsleptwhileshelistenedtohim,werebecomeoflittleconsequencenow.Thisdeeperanxietyswallowedthemup.Thingsshouldtaketheircourseshecarednothowitended.Hercousinsmightattack,butcouldhardlyteaseher.Shewasbeyondtheirreachandifatlastobligedtoyield—nomatter—itwasallmiserynow.
