CHAPTER XVII. PLAYING GRANDMOTHER

ITHINKTomhadthehardesttimeofall,forbesidesthefamilytroubles,hehadmanyofhisowntoperplexandharasshim.Collegescrapesweresoonforgotteningreaterafflictionsbuttherewereplentyoftonguestoblame“thatextravagantdog,”andplentyofheadstowagominouslyoverpropheciesofthegoodtimeTomShawwouldnowmakeontheroadtoruin.Asreportersflourishinthiscountry,ofcourseTomsoonheardallthefriendlycriticismspasseduponhimandhiscareer,andhesufferedmorethananybodyguessedforthetruththatwasatthebottomofthegossipfilledhimwiththesharpregretandimpotentwrathagainsthimselfaswellasothers,whichdrivesmanyaproudfellow,soplaced,todestruction,ortheeffortthatredeemsboyishfolly,andmakesamanofhim. Nowthathehadlosthisheritage,Tomseemedtoseeforthefirsttimehowgoodlyithadbeen,howrichinpower,pleasure,andgraciousopportunities.Hefeltitsworthevenwhileheacknowledged,withthesenseofjusticethatisstronginmanlymen,howlittlehedeservedagiftwhichhehadsomisused.Hebroodedoverthisagooddeal,for,likethebatinthefable,hedidn'tseemtofindanyplaceinthenewlifewhichhadbegunforall.Knowingnothingofbusiness,hewasnotofmuchusetohisfather,thoughhetriedtobe,andgenerallyendedbyfeelingthathewasahindrance,notahelp.Domesticaffairswereequallyoutofhisline,andthegirls,morefrankthantheirfather,didnothesitatetotellhimhewasinthewaywhenheofferedtolendahandanywhere.Afterthefirstexcitementwasover,andhehadtimetothink,heartandenergyseemedtodieout,remorsegotholdofhim,and,asgenerous,thoughtlessnaturesareapttodowhensuddenlyconfrontedwithconscience,heexaggeratedhisfaultsandfolliesintosinsofthedeepestdye,andfanciedhewasregardedbyothersasavillainandanoutcast.Prideandpenitencemadehimshrinkoutofsightasmuchaspossible,forhecouldnotbearpity,evenwhensilentlyexpressedbyafriendlyhandorakindlyeye.Hestayedathomeagooddeal,andloafedaboutwithamelancholyandneglectedair,vanishedwhenanyonecame,talkedverylittle,andwaseitherpatheticallyhumbleortragicallycross.Hewantedtodosomething,butnothingseemedtoappearandwhilehewaitedtogethispoiseafterthedownfall,hewassoverymiserablethatI'mafraid,ifithadnotbeenforonething,mypoorTomwouldhavegotdesperate,andbeenafailure.Butwhenheseemedmostuseless,outcast,andforlorn,hediscoveredthatonepersonneededhim,onepersonneverfoundhimintheway,onepersonalwayswelcomedandclungtohimwiththestrongestaffectionofaveryfeeblenature.Thisdependenceofhismother'swasTom'ssalvationatthatcrisisofhislifeandthegossips,whosaidsoftlytooneanotherovertheirmuffinsandtea.“Itreallywouldbearelieftothatwholefamilyifpoor,dearMrs.Shawcouldbeahem!mercifullyremoved,”didnotknowthattheinvalid'sweak,idlehandswereunconsciouslykeepingthesonsafeinthatquietroom,whereshegavehimallthatshehadtogive,mother-love,tillhetookheartagain,andfacedtheworldreadytofighthisbattlesmanfully. “Dear,dear!howoldandbentpoorfatherdoeslook.Ihopehewon'tforgettoordermysweetbread,”sighedMrs.Shawoneday,asshewatchedherhusbandslowlygoingdownthestreet. Tom,whostoodbyher,idlyspinningthecurtaintassel,followedthefamiliarfigurewithhiseye,andseeinghowgraythehairhadgrown,howcarewornthefloridface,andhowlikeawearyoldmanhisoncestrong,handsomefatherwalked,hewassmittenbyanewpangofself-reproach,andwithhisusualimpetuositysetaboutrepairingtheomissionassoonashediscoveredit. “I'llseetoyoursweetbread,mum.Good-by,backtodinner,”andwithahastykiss,Tomwasoff. Hedidn'tknowexactlywhathemeanttodo,butithadsuddenlycomeoverhim,thathewashidingfromthestorm,andlettinghisfathermeetitalonefortheoldmanwenttohisofficeeverydaywiththeregularityofamachine,thatwouldgoitsusualrounduntilitstopped,whiletheyoungmanstayedathomewiththewomen,andlethismothercomforthim. “Hehasarighttobeashamedofme,butIactasifIwasashamedofhimdaresaypeoplethinkso.I'llshowthemthatIain'tyes,bythepowers,Iwill!”andTomdrewonhisgloveswiththeairofamanabouttomeetandconqueranenemy. “Haveanarm,sir?Ifyoudon'tmindI'llwalkdownwithyou.Littlecommissionformother,niceday,isn'tit?” Tomratherbrokedownattheendofhisspeech,forthelookofpleasedsurprisewithwhichhisfathergreetedhim,thealacritywithwhichheacceptedandleanedonthestrongarmofferedhim,provedthatthedailywalkshadbeensolitaryanddoubtlesssadones.IthinkMr.Shawunderstoodtherealmeaningofthatlittleactofrespect,andfeltbetterforthehopefulchangeitseemedtoforetell.Buthetookitquietly,andleavinghisfacetospeakforhim,merelysaid,“Thanky,Tomyes,motherwillenjoyherdinnertwiceasmuchifyouorderit.” Thentheybegantotalkbusinesswithalltheirmight,asiftheyfearedthatsometraceofsentimentmightdisgracetheirmasculinedignity.Butitmadenodifferencewhethertheydiscussedlawsuitsorlove,mortgagesormothers,thefeelingwasallrightandtheyknewit,soMr.Shawwalkedstraighterthanusual,andTomfeltthathewasinhisproperplaceagain.Thewalkwasnotwithoutitstrials,howeverforwhileitdidTom'sheartgoodtoseethecordialrespectpaidtohisfather,ittriedhispatiencesorelytoseealsoinquisitiveordisapprovingglancesfixeduponhimselfwhenhatswereliftedtohisfather,andtohearthehearty“Goodday,Mr.Shaw,”dropintoacoolorcareless,“That'sthesonit'shardonhim.Wildfellow,dohimgood.” “Grantedbutyouneedn'thitamanwhenhe'sdown,”mutteredTomtohimself,feelingeverymomentastrongerdesiretodosomethingthatshouldsilenceeverybody.“I'dcutawaytoAustraliaifitwasn'tformotheranything,anywheretogetoutofthewayofpeoplewhoknowme.Inevercanrightmyselfhere,withallthefellowswatching,andlayingwagerswhetherIsinkorswim.HangGreekandLatin!wishI'dlearnedatrade,andhadsomethingtofallbackupon.Haven'tablessedthingnow,butdecentFrenchandmyfists.WonderifoldBelldon'twantaclerkfortheParisbranchofthebusiness?Thatwouldn'tbebadfaith,I'lltryit.” AndwhenTomhadlandedhisfathersafelyattheoffice,tothegreatedificationofallbeholders,hescreweduphiscourage,andwenttopreferhisreques