CHAPTER XVI. MILLY'S STORY.

ywork—IscornednottodoitbutIdidn'tspeaktoher.Denitwas,chile,datIthoughtofwhatmymothertoldme,yearsagoitcametome,allfresh—'Chile,whentroublecomes,youaskdeLordtohelpyou'andIsawdatIhadn'taskeddeLordtohelpmeandnow,saysItomyself,deLordcan'thelpme'causehecouldn'tbringbackAlfred,nowayyoucouldfixitandyetIwantedtofinddeLord,'causeIwassotossedupanddown.Iwantedjusttogoandsay,'Lord,youseewhatdiswomanhasdone.'Iwantedtoputittohim,ifhe'dstandupforsuchathingasthat.Lord,howdeworld,andeverything,lookedtomeindemtimes!Everythinggoin'onindewayitdidanddeseyerChristians,datsaiddatdeywasgoingintodekingdom,doingasdeydid!Itellyou,IsoughtdeLordearlyandlate.ManynightsIhavebeenoutindewoodsandlaidondegroundtillmorning,callingandcrying,and'pearedlikenobodyheerdme.Oh,howstrangeitusedtolook,whenIlookeduptodestars!winkingatme,sokindofstillandsolemn,butneversayingaword!SometimesIgotdatwild,itseemedasifIcouldtearaholethroughdesky,'causeImustfindGodIhadanerrandtohim,andImustfindhim. "DenIheard'emreadoutdeBible,'bouthowdeLordmetamanonathreshing-floor,andIthoughtmaybeifIhadathreshing-floorhewouldcometome.SoIthresheddownaplacejustashardasIcouldunderdetreesanddenIprayeddere—buthedidn'tcome.Denderewascomingagreatcamp-meetingandIthoughtI'dgoandseeifIcouldfinddeLordderebecause,yousee,missis,sheletherpeoplegoSundaytodecamp-meeting.Well,IwentintodetentsandheerddemsingandIwentaforedealtar,andIheerdpreachingbutit'pearedlikeitwasnogood.Itdidn'ttouchmenowhereandIcouldn'tseenothingtoit.Iheerd'emreadoutofdeBible,'Oh,datIknewwhereImightfindhim.Iwouldcomeeventohisseat.Iwouldordermycausebeforehim.Iwouldfillmymouthwitharguments'andIthought,sureenough,datar'sjustwhatIwant.Well,cameondarknight,anddeyhadalldecamp-fireslightedup,anddeywassingingdehymnsroundandround,andIwentfortoheardepreaching.Andderewasaman—pale,leanmanhewas,withblackeyesandblackhair.Well,datarman,hepreachedasermon,tobesure,Inevershallforget.Histextwas,'HethatsparednothisownSon,butfreelydeliveredhimupforusall,howshallhenotwithhimfreelygiveusallthings?'Well,yousee,thefirstsoundofdistookme,becauseI'dlostmyson.Andtheman,hetolduswhodesonofGodwas,—Jesus,—Oh,howsweetandbeautifulhewas!Howhewentrounddoingforfolks.OLord,whatastorydatarwas!And,den,howdeytookhim,andputdecrownofthornsonhishead,andhunghimupbleeding,bleeding,andbleeding!GodsolovedusdathelethisowndearSonsufferalldatforus.Chile,Igotup,andIwenttodealtar,andIkneeleddownwithdemournersandIfellflatonmyface,anddeysaidIwasinatrance.MaybeIwas.WhereIwas,Idon'tknowbutIsawdeLord!Chile,itseemedasifmyveryheartwasstill.Isawhim,suffering,bearingwithus,yearinandyearout—bearing—bearing—bearingsopatient!'Pearedlike,itwan'tjustondecrossbut,bearingalways,everywhar!Oh,chile,Isawhowhelovedus!—usall—all—everyoneonus!—wedathatedeachotherso!'Pearedlikehewasusinghisheartupforus,alldetime—bleedin'foruslikehedidonCalvary,andwillin'tobleed!Oh,chile,Isawwhatitwasformetobehatin',likeI'dhated.'OLord,'saysI,'Igiveup?OLord,neverseeyouaforeIdidn'tknow.Lord,I'sapoorsinner!Iwon'thatenomore!'Andoh,chile,denderecomesucharushofloveinmysoul!SaysI,'Lord,Ikenloveevendewhitefolks!'AnddencameanotherrushandsaysI,'Yes,Lord,IlovepoorMissHarrit,dat'ssoleallmychil'en,andbeendedeathofmypoorAlfred!Ilovesher.'Chile,Iovercome—Ididso—IovercomebydebloodofdeLamb—deLamb!—Yes,deLamb,chile!—'causeifhe'dbeenalionIcouldakeptin'twasdeLambdatovercome. "WhenIcometo,Ifeltlikeachile.IwenthometoMissHarritandIhadn'tspokepeaceabletohersinceAlfreddied.Iwentintoher.She'dbeensick,andshewasinherroom,lookingkinderpaleandyaller,poorthing'causeherson,honey,hegotdrunkand'busedherawful.Iwentin,andsaysI,'Oh,MissHarrit,I'sseendeLord!MissHarrit,Ian'tgotnomorehardfeelin'sIforgiveye,andlovesyewithallmyheart,justasdeLorddoes.'Honey,yeoughttoseehowdatwomancried!Saysshe,'Milly,I'sagreatsinner.'SaysI,'MissHarrit,we'ssinners,bothonus,butdeLordgiveshisselfforusbothandifhelovesuspoorsinners,wemustn'tbehardoneachother.Yewastempted,honey,'saysI(foryouseeIfeltlikemakin'scusesforher)'butdeLordJesushasgotapardonforbothonus.' "Afterdat,Ididn'thavenomoretroublewithMissHarrit.Chile,wewassistersinJesus.Iboreherburdens,andsheboremine.And,dear,deburdenswasheavyforhersonhewasbroughthomeacorpseheshothisselfrightthroughdehearttryingtoloadagunwhenhewasdrunk.Oh,chile,IthoughtdenhowI'dprayeddeLordtorenderuntoherdoublebutIhadabettermindden.EfIcouldhavebroughtpoorMas'rGeorgetolife,I'dadoneitandIhelddepoorwoman'sheadonmyarmalldatarnight,andsheascreamin'everyhour.Well,datartookherdowntodegrave.Shedidn'tlivemuchlongerbutshewasreadytodie.ShesentandboughtmydaughterLucy'sson,dishereTom,andginhimtome.Poorthing!shedidallshecould. "Iwatchedwithherdenightshedied.Oh,MissNina,ifeverye'retemptedtohateanybody,thinkhow't'llbewith'emwhendeycomestodie. "Shediedhard,poorthing!andshewascastdown,'bouthersins.'Oh,Milly,'saysshe,'theLordandyoumayforgiveme,butIcan'tforgivemyself.' "'And,'saysItoher,'Oh,missis,don'tthinkofitnomore!deLord'shiditinhisownheart!'Oh,butshestruggledlong,honeyshewasallnightdyin',and'twas'Milly!Milly!'alldetime'Oh,Milly,staywithme!' "And,chile,IfeltIlovedherlikemyownsoulandwhendedaybrokedeLordsetherfree,andIlaidherdownlikeshe'dbeenoneo'mybabies.Itookupherpoorhand.Itwaswarm,butthestrengthwasallgoneouton'tand,'Oh,'Ithought,'yepoorthing,howcouldIeverhavehatedyeso?'Ah,chile,wemustn'thatenobodywe'sallpoorcreaturs,anddedearLordhelovesusall."