CHAPTER VI. THE DILEMMA.

adwashedit,andcouldn'thaveitsplashed"or"hehadtakenoutthebackcurtain,andhadlaidouttoputastitchinit,oneofdeseyerdays"ortherewassomethingthematterwiththeirons."Hereckonedtheywasalittlebitsprung."He"'lowedhe'dasktheblacksmithaboutit,someofdeseyertimes."Andthenastothehorsesthepossibilitieswererichandabundant.Whatwithstrains,andlooseshoes,andstonesgettinginatthehoofs,dangersofallsortsofcomplaints,forwhichhehadhisownvocabularyofnames,itwasnexttoanimpossibility,accordingtoanyordinaryruleofcomputingchances,thatthetwoshouldbeincompleteordertogether. Utterlyignorant,however,ofthemagnitudeoftheundertakingwhichshewasattempting,andbuoyantwiththeconsciousnessofauthority,Ninatrippedsingingalong,andfoundOldHundredtranquillyreclininginhistent-door,watchingthroughhishalf-shuteyes,whiletheafternoonsunbeamirradiatedthesmokewhichrosefromtheoldpipebetweenhisteeth.Alarge,black,one-eyedcrowsatperching,withaquizzicalair,uponhiskneeandwhenheheardNina'sfootstepsapproaching,cockedhisremainingeyetowardsher,withasmart,observingattitude,asifhehadbeendeputedtolookoutforapplicationswhilehismasterdozed.Betweenthiscrow,whohadreceivedthesobriquetofUncleJeff,andhismaster,thereexistedamostparticularbondoffriendshipandamity.Thiswasfurtherstrengthenedbythefactthattheywerebothequallydislikedbyalltheinhabitantsoftheplace.Likemanypeoplewhoarecalledtostandinresponsiblepositions,OldHundredhadratherfailedinthehumblevirtues,andbecomedogmaticalanddictatorialtothatdegreethatnobodybuthisownwifecoulddoanythingwithhim.AndastoJeff,iftheprincipleofthieverycouldbeincarnate,hemighthavewonatempleamongtheLacedemonians.Invariousskirmishesandbattlesconsequentonhismisdeeds,Jeffhadlostaneye,andhadaconsiderableportionofthefeathersscaldedoffononesideofhisheadwhiletheremainingones,discomposedbytheincident,everafterstoodupinaprotestingattitude,impartingsomethingstillmoresinistertohisgoblinappearance.Inanotherrencounterhehadreceivedapermanenttwistintheneck,whichgavehimalwaystheappearanceoflookingoverhisshoulder,andaddednotalittletotheoddityofthegeneraleffect.UncleJeffthievedwithanassiduityandskillwhichwereworthyofabettercauseand,whennotuponanyseriousenterpriseofthiskind,employedhistimeinpullingupcorn,scratchingupnewly-plantedflower-seeds,tanglingyarn,pullingoutknitting-needles,peckingtheeyesofsleepingpeople,scratchingandbitingchildren,andanyotherlittlemiscellaneousmischiefwhichoccurredtohim.HewasinvaluabletoOldHundred,becausehewasastandingapologyforanyandalldiscoveriesmadeonhispremisesofthingswhichoughtnottohavebeenthere.Nomatterwhatwasbroughttolight,—whetherspoonsfromthegreathouse,orapairofsleeve-buttons,orahandkerchief,orapipefromaneighboringcabin,—Jeffwasalwayscalleduptoanswer.OldHundredregularlyscolded,ontheseoccasions,anddeclaredhewasenoughto"spilethecharacterofanyman'shouse."AndJeffwouldlookathimcomicallyovertheshoulder,andwinkhisremainingeye,asmuchastosaythatthescoldingwasasettledthingbetweenthem,andthathewasn'tgoingtotakeitatallinillpart. "UncleJohn,"saidNina,"Iwantyoutogetthecarriageoutforme,rightaway.Iwanttotakearideoverthecrossrun." "Lawsblessyousweetface,honey,chile,I'sdreadfulsorrybutyoucan'tdoitdisyerday." "Can'tdoit!Whynot?" "Why,blessyou,chile,itan'tpossible,noway.Can'thavethecarriageandhossesdisyerarternoon." "ButImustgoovertocrossruntothepost-office.Imustgothisminute!" "Law,chile,youcan'tdoit!furyoucan'twalk,andit'ssartainyoucan'tride,becausedeseyerhosses,nordisyercarriage,can'tstiroutdisyerarternoon,nowayyoucanfixit.Moutgo,perhaps,to-morrow,ornextweek." "Oh,UncleJohn,Idon'tbelieveawordofit!Iwantthemthisafternoon,andIsayImusthavethem!" "No,youcan't,chile,"saidOldHundred,inatender,condescendingtone,asifhewasspeakingtoababy."Itellyoudat