Chapter IX. The Debating Club

heninginfluencebehind—thememberssettleddowntothedebate,whichwasneververylong,andoftenonlyanexcuseforfunofallsorts. “Ralph,Gus,andEdarefor,andBrickbat,Grif,andChickagainst,Isuppose?”saidFrank,surveyinghiscompanylikeageneralpreparingforbattle. “No,sir!Ibelieveinco-everything!”criedChick,amildyouth,wholoyallyescortedachosendamselhomefromschooleveryday. Alaughgreetedthisbolddeclaration,andChicksatdown,redbutfirm. “I'llspeakfortwosincetheChairmancan't,andJackwon'tgoagainstthosewhopethimmosttodeath,”saidJoe,who,notbeingafavoritewiththegirls,consideredthemanuisanceandlostnoopportunityoftellingthemso. “Fireaway,then,sinceyouareup”commandedFrank. “Well,”beganJoe,feelingtoolatehowmuchhehadundertaken,“Idon'tknowagreatdealaboutit,andIdon'tcare,butIdonotbelieveinhavinggirlsatcollege.Theydon'tbelongthere,nobodywants'em,andthey'dbetterbeathomedarningtheirstockings.” “Yours,too,”putinRalph,whohadheardthatargumentsooftenhewastiredofit. “Ofcoursethat'swhatgirlsarefor.Idon'tmind'ematschool,butI'djustassoontheyhadaroomtothemselves.Weshouldgetonbetter.” “YouwouldifMabelwasn'tinyourclassandalwaysaheadofyou,”observedEd,whosefriendwasafinescholar,andheveryproudofthefact. “Lookhere,ifyoufellowskeepinterrupting,Iwon'tsitdownforhalfanhour,”saidJoe,wellknowingthateloquencewasnothisgift,butboundtohavehissayout. Deepsilencereigned,forthatthreatquelledthemostimpatientmember,andJoeprosedon,usingalltheargumentshehadeverheard,andpayingoffseveraloldscoresbyslyhitsofapersonalnature,asolderoratorsoftendo. “Itiscleartomymindthatboyswouldgetonbetterwithoutanygirlsfoolinground.Asfortheirbeingassmartasweare,itisallnonsense,forsomeof'emcryovertheirlessonseveryday,orgohomewithheadaches,orgetmadandscoldallrecess,becausesomething'isn'tfair.'No,sirgirlsain'tmeanttoknowmuch,andtheycan't.WisefolkssaysoandIbelieve'em.Haven'tgotanysistersmyself,andIdon'twantany,fortheydon'tseemtoamounttomuch,accordingtothosewhodohave'em.” GroansfromGusandEdgreetedtheclosingremarksoftheungallantJoe,whosatdown,feelingthathehadmadesomebodysquirm.UpjumpedGrif,thedelightofwhoselifewaspracticaljokes,whichamiableweaknessmadehimtheterrorofthegirls,thoughtheyhadnootherfaulttofindwiththemerrylad. “Mr.Chairman,thegroundItakeisthis:girlshavenotthestrengthtogotocollegewithus.Theycouldn'trowarace,goonalark,ortakecareofthemselves,aswedo.Theyareallwellenoughathome,andIlikethematparties,butforrealfunandgoIwouldn'tgiveacentforthem,”beganGrif,whoseviewsofacollegiatelifewereconfinedtotheenjoymentsratherthanthestudiesofthatfestiveperiod.“Ihavetriedthem,andtheycan'tstandanything.Theyscreamifyoutellthemthereisamouseintheroom,andruniftheyseeabigdog.IjustputacockroachinMolly'sdeskoneday,andwhensheopeneditshejumpedasifshewasshot.” Sodidthegentlemenoftheclub,foratthatmomenthalf-a-dozenfire-crackersexplodedunderthechairGrifhadleft,andflewwildlyabouttheroom.Orderwaswithdifficultyrestored,themischievouspartysummarilychastisedandcommandedtoholdhistongue,underpenaltyofejectmentfromtheroomifhespokeagain.Firmlygraspingthatredandunrulymember,Grifcomposedhimselftolisten,withhisnoseintheairandhiseyesshininglikeblackbeads. Edwasalwaysthepeace-maker,andnow,whenherosewithhisengagingsmile,hisvoicefelllikeoiluponthetroubledwaters,andhisbrightfacewasfullofthebecomingbashfulnesswhichafflictsyouthsofseventeenwhentouchinguponsuchsubjectsofnewlyacquiredinterestasgirlsandtheirpleasantbutperplexingways. “Itseemstomewehavehardlyconsideredthematterenoughtobeabletosaymuch.ButIthinkthatschoolwouldbeawfullydryanddismalwithout—ahem!—anyyoungladiestomakeitnice.Iwouldn'tgiveapintogoiftherewasonlyacrowdoffellows,thoughIlikeagoodgameaswellasanyman.Ipityanyboywhohasnosisters,”continuedEd,warmingupashethoughtofhisown,wholovedhimdearly,aswelltheymight,forabetterbrotherneverlived.“Homewouldn'tbeworthhavingwithoutthemtolookafterafellow,tokeephimoutofscrapes,helphimwithhislessons,andmakethingsjollyforhisfriends.Itellyouwecan'tdowitho