Chapter 17—Good Bargains

isharmful.Thewritersofthesepopularstoriesintendtodogood,Ihavenodoubt,butitseemstometheyfailbecausetheirmottois,'Besmart,andyouwillberich,'insteadof'Behonest,andyouwillbehappy.'Idonotjudgehastily,Alec,forIhavereadadozen,atleast,ofthesestories,and,withmuchthatisattractivetoboys,Ifindagreatdealtocondemninthem,andotherparentssaythesamewhenIaskthem.” “Now,Mum,that'stoobad!Ilike'emtip-top.Thisoneisaregularscreamer,”criedWill. “They'rebullybooks,andI'dliketoknowwhere'stheharm,”addedGeordie. “Youhavejustshownusoneofthechiefevils,andthatisslang,”answeredtheirmotherquickly. “Musthaveit,ma'am.Ifthesechapstalkedallright,there'dbenofunin'em,”protestedWill. “Aboot-blackmustn'tusegoodgrammar,andanewsboymustswearalittle,orhewouldn'tbenatural,”explainedGeordie,bothboysreadytofightgallantlyfortheirfavourites. “Butmysonsareneitherboot-blacksnornewsboys,andIobjecttohearingthemusesuchwordsas'screamer,''bully,'and'buster.'Infact,Ifailtoseetheadvantageofwritingbooksaboutsuchpeopleunlessitisdoneinaverydifferentway.Icannotthinktheywillhelptorefinetheragamuffinsiftheyreadthem,andI'msuretheycandonogoodtothebetterclassofboys,whothroughthesebooksareintroducedtopolicecourts,counterfeiters'dens,gamblinghouses,drinkingsaloons,andallsortsoflowlife.” “Someofthemareaboutfirst-rateboys,motherandtheygotoseaandstudy,andsailroundtheworld,havinggreatlarksalltheway.” “Ihavereadaboutthem,Geordie,andthoughtheyarebetterthantheothers,Iamnotsatisfiedwiththeseopticaldelusions,asIcallthem.Now,Iputittoyou,boys,isitnaturalforladsfromfifteentoeighteentocommandships,defeatpirates,outwitsmugglers,andsocoverthemselveswithglory,thatAdmiralFarragutinvitesthemtodinner,saying,'Nobleboy,youareanhonourtoyourcountry!'Or,iftheheroisinthearmy,hehashair-breadthescapesandadventuresenoughinonesmallvolumetoturnhishairwhite,andintheendhegoestoWashingtonattheexpressdesireofthePresidentorCommander-in-chieftobepromotedtonoendofstarsandbars.Eveniftheheroismerelyanhonestboytryingtogethisliving,heisnotpermittedtodosoinanaturalway,byhardworkandyearsofpatienteffort,butissuddenlyadoptedbyamillionairewhosepocket-bookhehasreturnedorarichuncleappearsfromseajustinthenickoftimeortheremarkableboyearnsafewdollars,speculatesinpea-nutsorneckties,andgrowsrichsorapidlythatSinbadinthediamondvalleyisapaupercomparedtohim.Isn'titso,boys?” “Well,thefellowsinthesebooksaremightylucky,andverysmart,Imustsay,”answeredWill,surveyinganillustrationontheopenpagebeforehim,whereasmallbutvirtuousyouthisupsettingatipsygiantinabar-room,andunderittheelegantinscription,“DickDauntlesspunchestheheadofSamSoaker.” “Itgivesboyssuchwrongideasoflifeandbusinessshowsthemsomuchevilandvulgaritythattheyneednotknowabout,andmakestheonesuccessworthhavingafortune,alord'sdaughter,orsomeworldlyhonour,oftennotworththetimeittakestowin.Itdoesseemtomethatsomeonemightwritestoriesthatshouldbelively,naturalandhelpfultalesinwhichtheEnglishshouldbegood,themoralspure