CHAPTER XXVIII. PH?BE.

ShirleyprobablygotonpleasantlywithSirPhilipthatevening,forthenextmorningshecamedowninoneofherbestmoods. "Whowilltakeawalkwithme?"sheasked,afterbreakfast."IsabellaandGertrude,willyou?" SorarewassuchaninvitationfromMissKeeldartoherfemalecousinsthattheyhesitatedbeforetheyacceptedit.Theirmamma,however,signifyingacquiescenceintheproject,theyfetchedtheirbonnets,andthetriosetout. Itdidnotsuitthesethreeyoungpersonstobethrownmuchtogether.MissKeeldarlikedthesocietyoffewladiesindeed,shehadacordialpleasureinthatofnoneexceptMrs.PryorandCarolineHelstone.Shewascivil,kind,attentiveeventohercousinsbutstillsheusuallyhadlittletosaytothem.Inthesunnymoodofthisparticularmorning,shecontrivedtoentertaineventheMissesSympson.Withoutdeviatingfromherwontedruleofdiscussingwiththemonlyordinarythemes,sheimpartedtothesethemesanextraordinaryinterestthesparkleofherspiritglancedalongherphrases. Whatmadehersojoyous?Allthecausemusthavebeeninherself.Thedaywasnotbright.Itwasdim—apale,waningautumnday.Thewalksthroughthedunwoodsweredamptheatmospherewasheavy,theskyovercastandyetitseemedthatinShirley'sheartlivedallthelightandazureofItaly,asallitsfervourlaughedinhergrayEnglisheye. Somedirectionsnecessarytobegiventoherforeman,John,delayedherbehindhercousinsastheynearedFieldheadontheirreturn.Perhapsanintervaloftwentyminuteselapsedbetweenherseparationfromthemandherre-entranceintothehouse.InthemeantimeshehadspokentoJohn,andthenshehadlingeredinthelaneatthegate.Asummonstoluncheoncalledherin.Sheexcusedherselffromthemeal,andwentupstairs. "IsnotShirleycomingtoluncheon?"askedIsabella."Shesaidshewashungry." Anhourafter,asshedidnotquitherchamber,oneofhercousinswenttoseekherthere.Shewasfoundsittingatthefootofthebed,herheadrestingonherhandshelookedquitepale,verythoughtful,almostsad. "Youarenotill?"wasthequestionput. "Alittlesick,"repliedMissKeeldar. Certainlyshewasnotalittlechangedfromwhatshehadbeentwohoursbefore. Thischange,accountedforonlybythosethreewords,explainednootherwisethischange—whencesoeverspringing,effectedinabrieftenminutes—passedlikenolightsummercloud.Shetalkedwhenshejoinedherfriendsatdinner,talkedasusual.Sheremainedwiththemduringtheevening.Whenagainquestionedrespectingherhealth,shedeclaredherselfperfectlyrecovered.Ithadbeenamerepassingfaintness,amomentarysensation,notworthathoughtyetitwasfelttherewasadifferenceinShirley. Thenextday—theday,theweek,thefortnightafter—thisnewandpeculiarshadowlingeredonthecountenance,inthemannerofMissKeeldar.Astrangequietudesettledoverherlook,hermovements,herveryvoice.Thealterationwasnotsomarkedastocourtorpermitfrequentquestioning,yetitwasthere,anditwouldnotpassaway.Ithungoverherlikeacloudwhichnobreezecouldstirordisperse.Soonitbecameevidentthattonoticethischangewastoannoyher.Firstsheshrankfromremarkand,ifpersistedin,she,withherownpeculiarhauteur,repelledit."Wassheill?"Thereplycamewithdecision. "Iamnot." "Didanythingweighonhermind?Hadanythinghappenedtoaffectherspirits?" Shescornfullyridiculedtheidea."Whatdidtheymeanbyspirits?Shehadnospirits,blackorwhite,blueorgray,toaffect." "Somethingmustbethematter—shewassoaltered." "Shesupposedshehadarighttoalteratherease.Sheknewshewasplainer.Ifitsuitedhertogrowugly,whyneedothersfretthemselvesonthesubject?" "Theremustbeacauseforthechange.Whatwasit?" Sheperemptorilyrequestedtobeletalone. Thenshewouldmakeeveryefforttoappearquitegay,andsheseemedindignantatherselfthatshecouldnotperfectlysucceed.Briefself-spurningepithetsburstfromherlipswhenalone."Fool!coward!"shewouldtermherself."Poltroon!"shewouldsay,"ifyoumusttremble,trembleinsecret!Quailwherenoeyeseesyou!" "Howdareyou,"shewouldaskherself—"howdareyoushowyourweaknessandbetrayyourimbecileanxieties?Shakethemoffriseabovethem.Ifyoucannotdothis,hidethem." Andtohidethemshedidherbest.Sheoncemorebecameresolutelylivelyincompany.Whenwearyofeffortandforcedtorelax,shesoughtsolitude—notthesolitudeofherchamber(sherefusedtomope,shutupbetweenfourwalls),butthatwildersolitudewhichliesoutofdoors,andwhichshecouldchase,mountedonZo?,hermare.Shetooklongridesofhalfaday.Heruncledisapproved,buthedarednotremonstrate.ItwasneverpleasanttofaceShirley'sanger,evenwhenshewashealthyandgaybutnowthatherfaceshowedthin,andherlargeeyelookedhollow,therewassomethinginthedarkeningofthatfaceandkindlingofthateyewhichtouchedaswellasalarmed. Toallcomparativestrangerswho,unconsciousofthealterationsinherspirits,commentedonthealterationinherlooks,shehadonereply,— "IamperfectlywellIhavenotanailment." Andhealth,indeed,shemusthavehad,tobeabletobeartheexposuretotheweathershenowencountered.Wetorfair,calmorstorm,shetookherdailyrideoverStilbro'Moor,Tartarkeepingupatherside,withhiswolf-likegallop,longanduntiring. Twice,threetimes,theeyesofgossips—thoseeyeswhichareeverywhere,intheclosetandonthehill-top—noticedthatinsteadofturningonRushedge,thetopridgeofStilbro'Moor,sherodeforwardsallthewaytothetown.Scoutswerenotwantingtomarkherdestinationthere.ItwasascertainedthatshealightedatthedoorofoneMr.PearsonHall,asolicitor,relatedtothevicarofNunnely.ThisgentlemanandhisancestorshadbeentheagentsoftheKeeldarfamilyforgenerationsback.SomepeopleaffirmedthatMissKeeldarwasbecomeinvolvedinbusinessspeculationsconnectedwithHollow'sMill—thatshehadlostmoney,andwasconstrainedtomortgageherland.Othersconjecturedthatshewasgoingtobemarried,andthatthesettlementswerepreparing. Mr.MooreandHenrySympsonweretogetherintheschoolroom.Thetutorwaswaitingforalessonwhichthepupilseemedbusyinpreparing. "Henry,makehaste.Theafternoonisgettingon." "Isit,sir?" "Certainly.Areyounearlyreadywiththatlesson?" "No." "Notnearlyready?" "Ihavenotconstruedaline." Mr.Moorelookedup.Theboy'stonewasratherpeculiar. "Thetaskpresentsnodifficulties,Henryor,ifitdoes,bringthemtome.Wewillworktogether." "Mr.Moore,Icandonowork." "Myboy,youareill." "Sir,Iamnotworseinbodilyhealththanusual,butmyheartisfull." "Shutthebook.Comehither,Harry.Cometothefireside." Harrylimpedforward.Histutorplacedhiminachairhislipswerequivering,hiseyesbrimming.Helaidhiscrutchonthefloor,bentdownhishead,andwept. "Thisdistressisnotoccasionedbyphysicalpain,yousay,Harry?Youhaveagrieftellitme." "Sir,IhavesuchagriefasIneverhadbefore.IwishitcouldberelievedinsomewayIcanhardlybearit." "Whoknowsbut,ifwetalkitover,wemayrelieveit?Whatisthecause?Whomdoesitconcern?" "Thecause,sir,isShirleyitconcernsShirley." "Doesit?Youthinkherchanged?" "Allwhoknowherthinkherchanged—youtoo,Mr.Moore." "Notseriously—no.Iseenoalterationbutsuchasafavourableturnmightrepairinafewweeksbesides,herownwordmustgoforsomething:shesayssheiswell." "Thereitis,sir.Aslongasshemaintainedshewaswell,Ibelievedher.WhenIwassadoutofhersight,Isoonrecoveredspiritsinherpresence.Now——" "Well,Harry,now.Hasshesaidanythingtoyou?Youandsheweretogetherinthegarden