CHAPTER XV. MR. DONNE'S EXODUS.

takenhimbysurprise,buthepassedhimnowinsuppressedfuryratherthanfear.IfalookcouldhavestrangledTartar,hewouldhavebreathednomore.Forgettingpolitenessinhissullenrage,MalonepushedintotheparlourbeforeMissKeeldar.HeglancedatMissHelstonehecouldscarcelybringhimselftobendtoher.Heglaredonboththeladies.Helookedasif,hadeitherofthembeenhiswife,hewouldhavemadeaglorioushusbandatthemoment.Ineachhandheseemedasifhewouldhavelikedtoclutchoneandgripehertodeath. However,Shirleytookpity.SheceasedtolaughandCarolinewastootruealadytosmileevenatanyoneundermortification.TartarwasdismissedPeterAugustuswassoothed—forShirleyhadlooksandtonesthatmightsootheaverybull.Hehadsensetofeelthat,sincehecouldnotchallengetheownerofthedog,hehadbetterbecivil.Andcivilhetriedtobeandhisattemptsbeingwellreceived,hegrewpresentlyverycivilandquitehimselfagain.Hehadcome,indeed,fortheexpresspurposeofmakinghimselfcharmingandfascinating.RoughportentshadmethimonhisfirstadmissiontoFieldheadbutthatpassagegotover,charmingandfascinatingheresolvedtobe.LikeMarch,havingcomeinlikealion,hepurposedtogooutlikealamb. Forthesakeofair,asitappeared,orperhapsforthatofreadyexitincaseofsomenewemergencyarising,hetookhisseat,—notonthesofa,whereMissKeeldarofferedhimenthronization,noryetnearthefireside,towhichCaroline,byafriendlysign,gentlyinvitedhim,butonachairclosetothedoor.Beingnolongersullenorfurious,hegrew,afterhisfashion,constrainedandembarrassed.Hetalkedtotheladiesbyfitsandstarts,choosingfortopicswhateverwasmostintenselycommonplace.Hesigheddeeply,significantly,atthecloseofeverysentencehesighedineachpausehesighedereheopenedhismouth.Atlast,findingitdesirabletoaddeasetohisothercharms,hedrewforthtoaidhimanamplesilkpocket-handkerchief.Thiswastobethegracefultoywithwhichhisunoccupiedhandsweretotrifle.Hewenttoworkwithacertainenergy.Hefoldedthered-and-yellowsquarecornerwisehewhippeditopenwithawaftagainhefoldeditinnarrowercompasshemadeofitahandsomeband.Towhatpurposewouldheproceedtoapplytheligature?Wouldhewrapitabouthisthroat—hishead?Shoulditbeacomforteroraturban?Neither.PeterAugustushadaninventive,anoriginalgenius.Hewasabouttoshowtheladiesgracesofactionpossessingatleastthecharmofnovelty.HesatonthechairwithhisathleticIrishlegscrossed,andtheselegs,inthatattitude,hecircledwiththebandanaandboundfirmlytogether.Itwasevidenthefeltthisdevicetobeworthanencoreherepeateditmorethanonce.ThesecondperformancesentShirleytothewindow,tolaughhersilentbutirrepressiblelaughunseenitturnedCaroline'sheadaside,thatherlongcurlsmightscreenthesmilemantlingonherfeatures.MissHelstone,indeed,wasamusedbymorethanonepointinPeter'sdemeanour.Shewasedifiedatthecompletethoughabruptdiversionofhishomagefromherselftotheheiress.The￡5,000hesupposedherlikelyonedaytoinheritwerenottobeweighedinthebalanceagainstMissKeeldar'sestateandhall.Hetooknopainstoconcealhiscalculationsandtactics.Hepretendedtonogradualchangeofviewshewheeledaboutatonce.Thepursuitofthelesserfortunewasopenlyrelinquishedforthatofthegreater.Onwhatgroundsheexpectedtosucceedinhischasehimselfbestknewcertainlynotbyskilfulmanagement. Fromthelengthoftimethatelapsed,itappearedthatJohnhadsomedifficultyinpersuadingMr.Donnetodescend.Atlength,however,thatgentlemanappearednor,ashepresentedhimselfattheoak-parlourdoor,didheseemintheslightestdegreeashamedorconfused—notawhit.Donne,indeed,wasofthatcoldlyphlegmatic,immovablycomplacent,denselyself-satisfiednaturewhichisinsensibletoshame.Hehadneverblushedinhislifenohumiliationcouldabashhimhisnerveswerenotcapableofsensationenoughtostirhislifeandmakecolourmounttohischeekhehadnofireinhisbloodandnomodestyinhissoulhewasafrontless,arrogant,decorousslipofthecommonplace—conceited,inane,insipidandthisgentlemanhadanotionofwooingMissKeeldar!Heknewnomore,however,howtosetaboutthebusinessthanifhehadbeenanimagecarvedinwood.Hehadnoideaofatastetobepleased,ahearttobereachedincourtship.Hisnotionwas,whenheshouldhaveformallyvisitedherafewtimes,towritealetterproposingmarriage.ThenhecalculatedshewouldaccepthimforloveofhisofficethentheywouldbemarriedthenheshouldbemasterofFieldheadandheshouldliveverycomfortably,haveservantsathiscommand,eatanddrinkofthebest,andbeagreatman.Youwouldnothavesuspectedhisintentionswhenheaddressedhisintendedbrideinanimpertinent,injuredtone—"Averydangerousdogthat,MissKeeldar.Iwonderyoushouldkeepsuchananimal." "Doyou,Mr.Donne?PerhapsyouwillwondermorewhenItellyouIamveryfondofhim." "Ishouldsayyouarenotseriousintheassertion.Can'tfancyaladyfondofthatbrute—'tissougly—amerecarter'sdog.Prayhanghim." "HangwhatIamfondof!" "Andpurchaseinhissteadsomesweetlypootypugorpoodle—somethingappropriatetothefairsex.Ladiesgenerallylikelap-dogs." "PerhapsIamanexception." "Oh,youcan'tbe,youknow.Allladiesarealikeinthosematters.Thatisuniversallyallowed." "Tartarfrightenedyouterribly,Mr.Donne.Ihopeyouwon'ttakeanyharm." "ThatIshall,nodoubt.HegavemeaturnIshallnotsoonforget.WhenIsorhim"(suchwasMr.Donne'spronunciation)"abouttospring,IthoughtIshouldhavefainted." "Perhapsyoudidfa