CHAPTER XVI. THE SUBSTITUTION

NextSundaywasoneofthegloomiestofAprildays—adayofthick,darkclouds,andheavyshowers.NoneoftheMurraysweredisposedtoattendchurchintheafternoon,exceptingRosalie:shewasbentupongoingasusualsosheorderedthecarriage,andIwentwithher:nothingloth,ofcourse,foratchurchImightlookwithoutfearofscornorcensureuponaformandfacemorepleasingtomethanthemostbeautifulofGod’screationsImightlistenwithoutdisturbancetoavoicemorecharmingthanthesweetestmusictomyearsImightseemtoholdcommunionwiththatsoulinwhichIfeltsodeeplyinterested,andimbibeitspurestthoughtsandholiestaspirations,withnoalloytosuchfelicityexceptthesecretreproachesofmyconscience,whichwouldtoooftenwhisperthatIwasdeceivingmyownself,andmockingGodwiththeserviceofaheartmorebentuponthecreaturethantheCreator. Sometimes,suchthoughtswouldgivemetroubleenoughbutsometimesIcouldquietthemwiththinking—itisnottheman,itishisgoodnessthatIlove.“Whatsoeverthingsarepure,whatsoeverthingsarelovely,whatsoeverthingsarehonestandofgoodreport,thinkonthesethings.”WedowelltoworshipGodinHisworksandIknownoneoftheminwhichsomanyofHisattributes—somuchofHisownspiritshines,asinthisHisfaithfulservantwhomtoknowandnottoappreciate,wereobtuseinsensibilityinme,whohavesolittleelsetoocc