CHAPTER XVI. THE SUBSTITUTION

NextSundaywasoneofthegloomiestofAprildays—adayofthick,darkclouds,andheavyshowers.NoneoftheMurraysweredisposedtoattendchurchintheafternoon,exceptingRosalie:shewasbentupongoingasusualsosheorderedthecarriage,andIwentwithher:nothingloth,ofcourse,foratchurchImightlookwithoutfearofscornorcensureuponaformandfacemorepleasingtomethanthemostbeautifulofGod’screationsImightlistenwithoutdisturbancetoavoicemorecharmingthanthesweetestmusictomyearsImightseemtoholdcommunionwiththatsoulinwhichIfeltsodeeplyinterested,andimbibeitspurestthoughtsandholiestaspirations,withnoalloytosuchfelicityexceptthesecretreproachesofmyconscience,whichwouldtoooftenwhisperthatIwasdeceivingmyownself,andmockingGodwiththeserviceofaheartmorebentuponthecreaturethantheCreator. Sometimes,suchthoughtswouldgivemetroubleenoughbutsometimesIcouldquietthemwiththinking—itisnottheman,itishisgoodnessthatIlove.“Whatsoeverthingsarepure,whatsoeverthingsarelovely,whatsoeverthingsarehonestandofgoodreport,thinkonthesethings.”WedowelltoworshipGodinHisworksandIknownoneoftheminwhichsomanyofHisattributes—somuchofHisownspiritshines,asinthisHisfaithfulservantwhomtoknowandnottoappreciate,wereobtuseinsensibilityinme,whohavesolittleelsetooccupymyheart. Almostimmediatelyaftertheconclusionoftheservice,MissMurrayleftthechurch.Wehadtostandintheporch,foritwasraining,andthecarriagewasnotyetcome.Iwonderedathercomingforthsohastily,forneitheryoungMelthamnorSquireGreenwastherebutIsoonfounditwastosecureaninterviewwithMr.Westonashecameout,whichhepresentlydid.Havingsalutedusboth,hewouldhavepassedon,butshedetainedhimfirstwithobservationsuponthedisagreeableweather,andthenwithaskingifhewouldbesokindastocomesometimeto-morrowtoseethegranddaughteroftheoldwomanwhokepttheporter’slodge,forthegirlwasillofafever,andwishedtoseehim.Hepromisedtodoso. “Andatwhattimewillyoubemostlikelytocome,Mr.Weston?Theoldwomanwillliketoknowwhentoexpectyou—youknowsuchpeoplethinkmoreabouthavingtheircottagesinorderwhendecentpeoplecometoseethemthanweareapttosupp