CHAPTER XIII. THE PRIMROSES

MissMurraynowalwayswenttwicetochurch,forshesolovedadmirationthatshecouldnotbeartoloseasingleopportunityofobtainingitandshewassosureofitwhereversheshowedherself,that,whetherHarryMelthamandMr.Greenwerethereornot,therewascertaintobesomebodypresentwhowouldnotbeinsensibletohercharms,besidestheRector,whoseofficialcapacitygenerallyobligedhimtoattend.Usually,also,iftheweatherpermitted,bothsheandhersisterwouldwalkhomeMatilda,becauseshehatedtheconfinementofthecarriageshe,becauseshedislikedtheprivacyofit,andenjoyedthecompanythatgenerallyenlivenedthefirstmileofthejourneyinwalkingfromthechurchtoMr.Green’spark-gates:nearwhichcommencedtheprivateroadtoHortonLodge,whichlayintheoppositedirection,whilethehighwayconductedinastraightforwardcoursetothestillmoredistantmansionofSirHughMeltham.Thustherewasalwaysachanceofbeingaccompanied,sofar,eitherbyHarryMeltham,withorwithoutMissMeltham,orMr.Green,withperhapsoneorbothofhissisters,andanygentlemenvisitorstheymighthave. WhetherIwalkedwiththeyoungladiesorrodewiththeirparents,dependedupontheirowncapriciouswill:iftheychoseto“take”me,Iwentif,forreasonsbestknowntothemselves,theychosetogoalone,Itookmyseatinthecarriage.Ilikedwalkingbetter,butasenseofreluctancetoobtrudemypresenceonanyonewhodidnotdesireit,alwayskeptmepassiveontheseandsimilaroccasionsandIneverinquiredintothecausesoftheirvaryingwhims.Indeed,thiswasthebestpolicy—fortosubmitandobligewasthegoverness’spart,toconsulttheirownpleasurewasthatofthepupils.ButwhenIdidwalk,thefirsthalfofjourneywasgenerallyagreatnuisancetome.Asnoneofthebefore-mentionedladiesandgentlemenevernoticedme,itwasdisagreeabletowalkbesidethem,asiflisteningtowhattheysaid,orwishingtobethoughtoneofthem,whiletheytalkedoverme,oracrossandiftheireyes,inspeaking,chancedtofallonme,itseemedasiftheylookedonvacancy—asiftheyeitherdidnotseeme,orwereverydesiroustomakeitappearso.Itwasdisagreeable,too,towalkbehind,andthusappeartoacknowledgemyowninferiorityfor,intruth,Iconsideredmyselfprettynearlyasgoodasthebestofthem,andwishedthemtoknowthatIdidso,andnottoimaginethatIlookeduponmyselfasameredomestic,whoknewherownplacetoowelltowalkbesidesuchfineladiesandgentlemenastheywere—thoughheryoungladiesmightchoosetohaveherwiththem,andevencondescendtoconversewithherwhennobettercompanywereathand.Thus—Iamalmostashamedtoconfessit—butindeedIgavemyselfnolittletroubl