CHAPTER XI. THE COTTAGERS

ftreadtometoo,an’sitbesidemejustlikeabrother.” “Justforalltheworld!”exclaimedhiswife“an’aboutathreewiksin’,whenheseedhowpoorJemshiveredwi’cold,an’whatpitifulfireswekept,heaxedifwerstockofcoalswasnearlydone.Itelledhimitwas,an’wewasillsettogetmore:butyouknow,mum,Ididn’tthinko’himhelpingusbut,howsever,hesentusasacko’coalsnextdayan’we’vehadgoodfireseversin’:andagreatblessingitis,thiswintertime.Butthat’shisway,MissGrey:whenhecomesintoapoorbody’shousea-seein’sickfolk,helikenoticeswhattheymoststandi’needonan’ifhethinkstheycan’treadilygetittherseln,heneversaysnowtaboutit,butjustgetsitfor’em.An’itisn’teverybody’at’uddothat,’athasaslittleashehas:foryouknow,mum,he’snowtatalltoliveonbutwhathegetsfra’th’Rector,an’that’slittleenoughtheysay.” Irememberedthen,withaspeciesofexultation,thathehadfrequentlybeenstyledavulgarbrutebytheamiableMissMurray,becauseheworeasilverwatch,andclothesnotquitesobrightandfreshasMr.Hatfield’s. InreturningtotheLodgeIfeltveryhappy,andthankedGodthatIhadnowsomethingtothinkaboutsomethingtodwellonasarelieffromthewearymonotony,thelonelydrudgery,ofmypresentlife:forIwaslonely.Never,frommonthtomonth,fromyeartoyear,exceptduringmybriefintervalsofrestathome,didIseeonecreaturetowhomIcouldopenmyheart,orfreelyspeakmythoughtswithanyhopeofsympathy,orevencomprehension:neverone,unlessitwerepoorNancyBrown,withwhomIcouldenjoyasinglemomentofrealsocialintercourse,orwhoseconversationwascalculatedtorendermebetter,wiser,orhappierthanbeforeorwho,asfarasIcouldsee,couldbegreatlybenefitedbymine.Myonlycompanionshadbeenunamiablechildren,andignorant,wrong-headedgirlsfromwhosefatiguingfolly,unbrokensolitudewasoftenareliefmostearnestlydesiredanddearlyprized.Buttoberestrictedtosuchassociateswasaseriousevil,bothinitsimmediateeffectsandtheconsequencesthatwerelikelytoensue.Neveranewideaorstirringthoughtcametomefromwithoutandsuchasrosewithinmewere,forthemostpart,miserablycrushedatonce,ordoomedtosickenorfadeaway,becausetheycouldnotseethelight. Habitualassociatesareknowntoexerciseagreatinfluenceovereachother’smindsandmanners.Thosewhoseactionsareforeverbeforeoureyes,whosewordsareeverinourears,willnaturallyleadus,albeitagainstourwill,slowly,gradually,imperceptibly,perhaps,toactandspeakastheydo.Iwillnotpresumetosayhowfarthisirresistiblepowerofassimilationextendsbutifonecivilisedmanweredoomedtopassadozenyearsamidaraceofintractablesavages,unlesshehadpowertoimprovethem,Igreatlyquestionwhether,atthecloseofthatperiod,hewouldnothavebecome,atleast,abarbarianhimself.AndI,asIcouldnotmakemyyoungcompanionsbetter,fearedexceedinglythattheywouldmakemeworse—wouldgraduallybringmyfeelings,habits,capacities,totheleveloftheirownwithout,however,impartingtometheirlightheartednessandcheerfulvivacity. Already,Iseemedtofeelmyintellectdeteriorating,myheartpetrifying,mysoulcontractingandItrembledlestmyverymoralperceptionsshouldbecomedeadened,mydistinctionsofrightandwrongconfounded,andallmybetterfacultiesbesunk,atlast,beneaththebanefulinfluenceofsuchamodeoflife.Thegrossvapoursofearthweregatheringaroundme,andclosinginuponmyinwardheavenandthusitwasthatMr.Westonroseatlengthuponme,appearinglikethemorningstarinmyhorizon,tosavemefromthefearofutterdarknessandIrejoicedthatIhadnowasubjectforcontemplationthatwasaboveme,notbeneath.IwasgladtoseethatalltheworldwasnotmadeupofBloomfields,Murrays,Hatfields,Ashbys,&c.andthathumanexcellencewasnotameredreamoftheimagination.Whenwehearalittlegoodandnoharmofaperson,itiseasyandpleasanttoimaginemore:inshort,itisneedlesstoanalyseallmythoughtsbutSundaywasnowbecomeadayofpeculiardelighttome(Iwasnowalmostbroken-intothebackcornerinthecarriage),forIlikedtohearhim—andIlikedtoseehim,toothoughIknewhewasnothandsome,orevenwhatiscalledagreeable,inoutwardaspectbut,certainly,hewasnotugly. Instaturehewasalittle,averylittle,abovethemiddlesizetheoutlineofhisfacewouldbepronouncedtoosquareforbeauty,buttomeitannounceddecisionofcharacterhisdarkbrownhairwasnotcarefullycurled,likeMr.Hatfield’s,butsimplybrushedasideoverabroadwhiteforeheadtheeyebrows,Isuppose,weretooprojecting,butfromunderthosedarkbrowstheregleamedaneyeofsingularpower,brownincolour,notlarge,andsomewhatdeep-set,butstrikinglybrilliant,andfullofexpressiontherewascharacter,too,inthemouth,somethingthatbespokeamanoffirmpurposeandanhabitualthinkerandwhenhesmiled—butIwillnotspeakofthatyet,for,atthetimeImention,Ihadneverseenhimsmile:and,indeed,hisgeneralappearancedidnotimpressmewiththeideaofamangiventosucharelaxation,norofsuchanindividualasthecottagersdescribedhim.Ihadearlyformedmyopinionofhimand,inspiteofMissMurray’sobjurgations:wasfullyconvincedthathewasamanofstrongsense,firmfaith,andardentpiety,butthoughtfulandstern:andwhenIfoundthat,tohisothergoodqualities,wasaddedthatoftruebenevolenceandgentle,consideratekindness,thediscovery,perhaps,delightedmethemore,asIhadnotbeenpreparedtoexpectit.