CHAPTER V. THE UNCLE

Besidestheoldlady,therewasanotherrelativeofthefamily,whosevisitswereagreatannoyancetome—thiswas“UncleRobson,”Mrs.Bloomfield’sbrotheratall,self-sufficientfellow,withdarkhairandsallowcomplexionlikehissister,anosethatseemedtodisdaintheearth,andlittlegreyeyes,frequentlyhalf-closed,withamixtureofrealstupidityandaffectedcontemptofallsurroundingobjects.Hewasathick-set,strongly-builtman,buthehadfoundsomemeansofcompressinghiswaistintoaremarkablysmallcompassandthat,togetherwiththeunnaturalstillnessofhisform,showedthatthelofty-minded,manlyMr.Robson,thescornerofthefemalesex,wasnotabovethefopperyofstays.Heseldomdeignedtonoticemeand,whenhedid,itwaswithacertainsuperciliousinsolenceoftoneandmannerthatconvincedmehewasnogentleman:thoughitwasintendedtohaveacontraryeffect.ButitwasnotforthatIdislikedhiscoming,somuchasfortheharmhedidthechildren—encouragingalltheirevilpropensities,andundoinginafewminutesthelittlegoodithadtakenmemonthsoflabourtoachieve. FannyandlittleHarrietheseldomcondescendedtonoticebutMaryAnnwassomethingofafavourite.Hewascontinuallyencouraginghertendencytoaffectation(whichIhaddonemyutmosttocrush),talkingaboutherprettyface,andfillingherheadwithallmannerofconceitednotionsconcerningherpersonalappearance(whichIhadinstructedhertoregardasdustinthebalancecomparedwiththecultivationofhermindandmanners)andIneversawachildsosusceptibleofflatteryasshewas.Whateverwaswrong,ineitherherorherbrother,hewouldencouragebylaughingat,ifnotbyactuallypraising:peoplelittleknowtheinjurytheydotochildrenbylaughingattheirfaults,andmakingapleasantjestofwhattheirtruefriendshaveendeavouredtoteachthemtoholdingraveabhorrence. Thoughnotapositivedrunkard,Mr.Robsonhabituallyswallowedgreatquantitiesofwine,andtookwithrelishanoccasionalglassofbrandyandwater.Hetaughthisnephewtoimitatehiminthistotheutmostofhisability,andtobelievethatthemorewineandspiritshecouldtake,andthebetterhelikedthem,themorehemanifestedhisbold,andmanlyspirit,androsesuperiortohissisters.Mr.Bloomfieldhadnotmuchtosayagainstit,forhisfavouritebeveragewasginandwaterofwhichhetookaconsiderableportioneveryday,bydintofconstantsipping—andtothatIchieflyattributedhisdingycomplexionandwaspishtemper. Mr.Robsonlikewiseenc