XVI

twouldhavebeensomethingbad.Shewassaved,however,byhisbeinginbed,clutchedbythethroatbyaviolentcoldandtherehelayhelpless,burningandshiveringandthrobbing,thepainsofhisbodyincreasedahundredfoldbythedistractionofhismindaboutPriscilla.Why,Tussieaskedhimselfoverandoveragain,hadshelookedsostrangethenightbefore?Whyhadshegonestarvingtobed?Whatwasshedoingto-day?Wasthekitchenmaidtakingpropercareofher?Wasshekeepingwarmanddrythisshockingweather?Hadshesleptcomfortablythefirstnightinherlittlehome?PoorTussie.Itisagrievousthingtoloveanyonetoomuchagrievous,wasteful,paralyzingthingatumblingoftheuniverseoutoffocus,abringingofthewholeworlddowntothemeanlevelofonedesire,ashuttingoutofwider,morebeautifulfeelings,awrappingofone'sselfinathickgarmentofselfishness,outsidewhichallthedear,tender,modest,everydayaffectionsandfriendships,thewholesome,ordinaryloves,thepreciouslovesofuseandwont,arelefttoshiverandgrowcold.Tussie'smothersatoutsidegrowingverycoldindeed.Herheartwasstrickenwithinher.She,mostorderlyofwomen,didnotintheleastmind,sooccupiedwasshewithdeepercares,thatherhouseholdwasinrebellion,hercookwhohadbeenwithherpracticallyallherlifeleavingbecauseshehadbeencommandedbyTussie,beforehehadtofallbackonthekitchenmaid,toproceedforthwithtoCreeperCottageandstaythereindefinitelyherkitchenmaid,alsoavaluedfunctionary,leavingBryce,Tussie'sservantwhotooksuchcareofhimandwassocleverinsickness,gonesuddenlyinhisindignationathavingtogoatall,—allthesethingsnolongermattered.NordiditmatterthatthecomingofagefestivitieswerethrownintohopelessconfusionbyTussie'sillness,thattheguestsmustallbetelegraphedtoandputoff,thatthewholevillagewouldbeaghastatsuchadisappointment,thatallherplansandpreparationshadbeenwasted.Asthefirstdayandnightofillnessdraggedslowlypastshegrewtobenothingbutonegreatacheofyearningoverhersickboy,amostsoul-rendingyearningtodowhatsheknewwasforeverimpossible,toputherarmssocloseroundhim,soclose,socarefully,sotenderly,thatnothing,noevil,nopain,couldgetthroughthatclaspoflovetohurthimanymore. "Whydon'tyoutakebettercareofyouronlyson?"saidthedoctorgrimlyafterhehadseenTussiethatevening,whobythattimewasinaverypitiablecondition. LadyShuttleworthstaredathim,wide-eyedandspeechless. "It'sabsurd,youknow,tolethimgetintothisstate.I'veoftenwarnedyou.Hecan'tbeallowedtoplayducksanddrakeswithhimselflikeotheryoungmen.He'sgotnostrengthtofallbackupon.Iconsideryouaredirectlyresponsibleforthisillness.Whydoyoulethimgooutatnightthistimeofyear?Whydoyoulethimover-exerthimself?Isuppose,"saidthedoctor,whohadbroughtTussieintotheworldandwasasbrutalashewasclever,besidesbeingatthatmomentextremelyangry,"Isupposeyouwanttolosehim,eh?" Howcouldsheexplaintohimwhatsheknewtobetrue,thattheonepersonresponsibleforTussie'sillnesswasPriscilla?Shethereforeonlystared,wide-eyedandspeechlessandindeedherheartwasverynearlybroken.