V

le,sowhat'stheuse—" "Sir,dotheyalsocontainbathrooms?" "Bathrooms?"Mr.DawsonstaredwithsoexcessivelystupidastarethatFritzing,whoheavercouldstandstupidity,gotangryagain. "Isaidbathrooms,sir,"hesaid,raisinghisvoice,"andIbelievewithperfectdistinctness." "Oh,Iheardyourightenough.Iwasonlywonderingifyouweretryingtobefunny." "Isthisabusinessconversationorisitnot?"criedFritzing,inhisturnbringinghisfistdownonthetable. "Lookhere,whatdoyousupposepeoplewholiveinsuchplaceswant?" "Iimaginecleanlinessanddecencyasmuchasanybodyelse." "Well,I'veneverbeenaskedforonewithabathroominmylife." "Youarebeingaskednow,"saidFritzing,glaringathim,"butyouwilfullyrefusetoreply.Fromyourmanner,however,Iconcludethattheycontainnone.Ifso,nodoubtIcouldquicklyhavesomebuilt." "Some?Why,howmanydoyouwant?" "Ihaveaniece,sir,andshemusthaveherown." Mr.DawsonagainstaredwithwhatseemedtoFritzingsodeplorablyfoolishastare."Ineverheardofsuchathing,"hesaid. "Whatdidyouneverhearof,sir?" "Ineverheardofonenieceandoneuncleinalabourer'scottagewantingabathroomapiece." "Apparentlyyouhaveneverheardofverymanythings,"retortedFritzingangrily."Myniecedesirestohaveherownbathroom,anditisnoone'sbusinessbuthers." "Shemustbeaqueersortofgirl." "Sir,"criedFritzing,"leavemynieceoutoftheconversation." "Ohallright—allright.I'msureIdon'twanttotalkaboutyourniece.Butasforthecottages,it'snogoodwantingthoseoranyothers,foryouwon'tget'em." "Andpraywhynot,ifIofferagoodprice?" "LadyShuttleworthwon'tsell.Whyshouldshe?She'donlyhavetobuildmoretoreplacethem.Herpeoplemustlivesomewhere.Andshe'llneverturnoutoldShawandtheshoemakertomakeroomforacoupleofstrangers." Fritzingwassilent,forhisheartwassinking."Suppose,sir,"hesaidafterapause,duringwhichhiseyeshadbeenfixedthoughtfullyonthecarpetandMr.Dawsonhadbeenstaringathimandwhistlingsoftlybutveryoffensively,"supposeIinformedLadyShuttleworthofmywillingnesstobuildtwonewcottages—excellentnewcottages—forthetenantsoftheseoldones,andpayheragoodpriceaswellforthese,doyouthinkshewouldlistentome?" "Isay,theschoolmasteringbusinessmustbearattlinggoodone.I'mblessedifIknowwhatyouwanttolivein'emforifmoney'ssolittleobjectwithyou.They'reshabbyanduncomfortable,andanoldchaplikeyou—Imean,amanofyourage,who'smadehislittlepile,andwantsluxurieslikeplentyofbathrooms—oughttobuysomethingtightandsnug.Goodroofandelectriclight.Placeforhorseandtrap.Andsettledownandbeagentleman." "Myniece,"saidFritzing,brushingasidethesesuggestionswithanangrilycontemptuouswaveofhishand,"hastakenafancy—Imaysayanexceedinglyviolentfancy—tothesetwocottages.Whatisallthistalkoftrapsandhorses?Myniecewishesforthesecottages.Ishalldomyutmosttosecurethemforher." "Well,allIcansayisshemustbea—" "Silence,sir!"criedFritzing. Mr.Dawsongotupandopenedthedoorverywide. "Lookhere,"hesaid,"there'snousegoingontalking.I'vestoodmorefromyouthanI'vestoodfromanyoneforyears.Takemyadviceandgetbackhomeandkeepquietforabit.I'vegotnocottages,andLadyShuttleworthwouldshutthedoorinyourfacewhenyougottothebathroompart.Whereareyoustaying?AttheCockandHens?Oh—ah—yes—atBaker's.Well,askMrs.Pearcetotakegreatcareofyou.TellherIsaidso.Andgoodafternoontoyou,Mr.Noyman.YouseeI'vegotthenamerightnow—justaswe'regoingtopart." "BeforeIgo,"saidFritzing,glaringdownatMr.Dawson,"letmetellyouthatIhaveseldommetanindividualwhounitesinhismannersosingularlyoffensiveacombinationoffacetiousnessandhectoringasyourself.IshallcertainlydescribeyourconducttoLadyShuttleworth,andnot,Ihope,inunconvincinglanguage.Sir,goodafternoon." "By-bye,"saidMr.Dawson,grinningandwavingapleasanthand.Severalbathroomsindeed!HeneedhavenofearsofLadyShuttleworth."GoodlucktoyouwithLadyS.!"hecalledafterhimcheerily.ThenhewenttohiswifeandbadeherseetoitthattheservantneverletFritzinginagain,explainingthathewasnotonlyaforeignerbutalunatic,andthatthemixturewassobadthatithardlyborethinkingof.