CHAPTER XIX

"Properlyscandalised,Ihope." "Ishouldloveherallthemore.Oh,Ishouldlovehertwiceasmuch!Why,thinkofthemiseryandtheshame—poor,poorlittlewoman—tryingtohideitall,bearingitallbyherself—shemusthavelovedhersister,shemusthavelovedherbrother.Itisn'ttrue,ofcourse,butsupposingitwere,couldyoutellmeanyreasonwhyIshouldturnmybackonher?" Shestoodlookingathim,hereyesfullofangrytears. Hedidnotanswer.Ifthatwasthewayshefelt,whatcouldhedo? "Ineverunderstood,"shewentonpassionately,"whytheinnocentshouldbepunished.Doyousupposeawomanwouldlikeherbrothertocheatandthenshoothimself?Orlikehersistertogoanddance?Butiftheydodothesethings,besidesherowngriefandhorror,sheistobeshunnedbyeverybodyasthoughshewereinfectious.Isthatfair?Isthatright?IsitintheleastChristian?" "No,ofcourseitisnot.Itisveryhardandveryugly,butitisquitenatural.Anoldwomaninastrongpositionmighttakesuchapersonup,perhaps,andcomfortherandloveherasyouproposetodo,butayounggirloughtnottodoanythingofthesort." Annaturnedawaywithaquickmovementofimpatienceandwalkedon."Ifyouargueontheyounggirlbasis,"shesaid,"weshallneverbeabletotalkaboutasinglething.Whenwillyouleaveoffaboutmyyounggirlishness?InfiveyearsIshallbethirty—willyougoontillIhavereachedthatblessedage?" "Ihavenorighttogoontoyouaboutanything,"saidAxel. "Precisely,"saidAnna. "ButpleaserememberthatIoweanenormousdebtofgratitudetoyouruncle,andmakeallowancesformeifIamover-zealousinmyanxietytoshieldhisniecefrompossibleunpleasantness." "Thendon'tkeeptellingmeIamtooyoungtodogood.Itisludicrous,consideringmyage,besidesbeingdreadful.Youwillsaythat,Ibelieve,tillIamthirtyorforty,andthenwhenyoucan'tdecentlysayitanymore,andIstillwanttodothings,you'llsayI'moldenoughtoknowbetter." Axellaughed.Anna'sdimplesappearedforaninstant,butvanishedagain. "Now,"shesaid,"IamnotgoingtotalkaboutpoorlittleElseanymore.Letherdistantrelationsdancetilltheyaretired—itconcernsnobodyhereatall." "LittleElse?" "Thebaroness.OfcourseweshallcalleachotherbyourChristiannames.Wearesisters." "Isee." "Youdon'tseeatall,"shesaid,withaswiftsidewardglanceathim. "MydearMissEstcourt——" "IfmyplansucceedsitwillcertainlynotbebecauseIhavebeenencouraged." "Ithink,"hesaidwithsuddenwarmth,"thattheplanisbeautiful,andcouldonlyhavebeenmadebyabeautifulnature." "Oh?"ejaculatedAnna,surprised.Aflushofgratificationcameintoherface.Theheartinessofthetonesurprisedherevenmorethanthewords.Shestoodstilltolookathim."Itisapity,"shesaidsoftly,"thatnearlyalwayswhenwearetogetherwegetangry,foryoucanbesokindwhenyouchoose.Saynicethingstome.Letusbehappy.Ilovebeinghappy." Sheheldoutherhand,smiling.Hetookitandgaveitahearty,matteroffactshake,anddroppedit.Itwasveryawkward,buthewasstrugglingwithanoverpoweringdesiretotakehe