CHAPTER XXXI

thsomehigheratmospherepungentwiththescentofthymeandthesavorofsalt,Katharinecouldhardlyhavebreathedinakeenersenseofexhilaration.Sherandownstairsonthecrestofit.ShewasamazedtofindherselfalreadycommittedbyWilliamandCassandratomarrytheownerofthehaltingvoiceshehadjustheardonthetelephone.Thetendencyofherspiritseemedtobeinanaltogetherdifferentdirectionandofadifferentnature.ShehadonlytolookatCassandratoseewhatthelovethatresultsinanengagementandmarriagemeans.Sheconsideredforamoment,andthensaid:“Ifyoudon’twanttotellpeopleyourselves,I’lldoitforyou.IknowWilliamhasfeelingsaboutthesemattersthatmakeitverydifficultforhimtodoanything.” “Becausehe’sfearfullysensitiveaboutotherpeople’sfeelings,”saidCassandra.“TheideathathecouldupsetAuntMaggieorUncleTrevorwouldmakehimillforweeks.” ThisinterpretationofwhatshewasusedtocallWilliam’sconventionalitywasnewtoKatharine.Andyetshefeltitnowtobethetrueone. “Yes,you’reright,”shesaid. “Andthenheworshipsbeauty.Hewantslifetobebeautifulineverypartofit.Haveyouevernoticedhowexquisitelyhefinisheseverything?Lookattheaddressonthatenvelope.Everyletterisperfect.” Whetherthisappliedalsotothesentimentsexpressedintheletter,KatharinewasnotsosurebutwhenWilliam’ssolicitudewasspentuponCassandraitnotonlyfailedtoirritateher,asithaddonewhenshewastheobjectofit,butappeared,asCassandrasaid,thefruitofhisloveofbeauty. “Yes,”shesaid,“helovesbeauty.” “Ihopeweshallhaveagreatmanychildren,”saidCassandra.“Heloveschildren.” ThisremarkmadeKatharinerealizethedepthsoftheirintimacybetterthananyotherwordscouldhavedoneshewasjealousforonemomentbutthenextshewashumiliated.ShehadknownWilliamforyears,andshehadneveronceguessedthathelovedchildren.ShelookedatthequeerglowofexaltationinCassandra’seyes,throughwhichshewasbeholdingthetruespiritofahumanbeing,andwishedthatshewouldgoontalkingaboutWilliamforever.Cassandrawasnotunwillingtogratifyher.Shetalkedon.Themorningslippedaway.Katharinescarcelychangedherpositionontheedgeofherfather’swriting-table,andCassandraneveropenedthe“HistoryofEngland.” AndyetitmustbeconfessedthattherewerevastlapsesintheattentionwhichKatharinebestoweduponhercousin.Theatmospherewaswonderfullycongenialforthoughtsofherown.ShelostherselfsometimesinsuchdeepreveriethatCassandra,pausing,couldlookatherformomentsunperceived.WhatcouldKatharinebethinkingabout,unlessitwereRalphDenham?Shewassatisfied,bycertainrandomreplies,thatKatharinehadwanderedalittlefromthesubjectofWilliam’sperfections.ButKatharinemadenosign.ShealwaysendedthesepausesbysayingsomethingsonaturalthatCassandrawasdeludedintogivingfreshexamplesofherabsorbingtheme.Thentheylunched,andtheonlysignthatKatharinegaveofabstractionwastoforgettohelpthepudding.Shelookedsolikehermother,asshesatthereobliviousofthetapioca,thatCassandrawasstartledintoexclaiming: “HowlikeAuntMaggieyoulook!” “Nonsense,”saidKatharine,withmoreirritationthantheremarkseemedtocallfor. Intruth,nowthathermotherwasaway,Katharinedidfeellesssensiblethanusual,butasshearguedittoherself,therewasmuchlessneedforsense.Secretly,shewasalittleshakenbytheevidencewhichthemorninghadsuppliedofherimmensecapacityfor—whatcouldonecallit?—ramblingoveraninfinitevarietyofthoughtsthatweretoofoolishtobenamed.Shewas,forexample,walkingdownaroadinNorthumberlandintheAugustsunsetattheinnshelefthercompanion,whowasRalphDenham,andwastransported,notsomuchbyherownfeetasbysomeinvisiblemeans,tothetopofahighhill.Herethescents,thesoundsamongthedryheather-roots,thegrass-bladespresseduponthepalmofherhand,wereallsoperceptiblethatshecouldexperienceeachoneseparately.Afterthishermindmadeexcursionsintothedarkoftheair,orsettleduponthesurfaceofthesea,whichcouldbediscoveredoverthere,orwithequalunreasonitreturnedtoitscouchofbrackenbeneaththestarsofmidnight,andvisitedthesnowvalleysofthemoon.Thesefancieswouldhavebeeninnowaystrange,sincethewallsofeverymindaredecoratedwithsomesuchtracery,butshefoundherselfsuddenlypursuingsuchthoughtswithanextremeardor,whichbecameadesiretochangeheractualconditionforsomethingmatchingtheconditionsofherdream.ThenshestartedthensheawoketothefactthatCassandrawaslookingatherinamazement. Cassandrawouldhavelikedtofeelcertainthat,whenKatharinemadenoreplyatalloronewideofthemark,shewasmakinguphermindtogetmarriedatonce,butitwasdifficult,ifthiswereso,toaccountforsomeremarksthatKatharineletfallaboutthefuture.Sherecurredseveraltimestothesummer,asifshemeanttospendthatseasoninsolitarywandering.SheseemedtohaveaplaninhermindwhichrequiredBradshawsandthenamesofinns. Cassandrawasdrivenfinally,byherownunrest,toputonherclothesandwanderoutalongthestreetsofChelsea,onthepretencethatshemustbuysomething.But,inherignoranceoftheway,shebecamepanic-strickenatthethoughtofbeinglate,andnosoonerhadshefoundtheshopshewanted,thanshefledbackagaininordertobeathomewhenWilliamcame.Hecame,indeed,fiveminutesaftershehadsatdownbythetea-table,andshehadthehappinessofreceivinghimalone.Hisgreetingputherdoubtsofhisaffectionatrest,butthefirstquestionheaskedwas: “HasKatharinespokentoyou?” “Yes.Butshesaysshe’snotengaged.Shedoesn’tseemtothinkshe’severgoingtobeengaged.” Williamfrowned,andlookedannoyed. “Theytelephonedthismorning,andshebehavesveryoddly.Sheforgetstohelpthepudding,”Cassandraaddedbywayofcheeringhim. “Mydearchild,afterwhatIsawandheardlastnight,it’snotaquestionofguessingorsuspecting.Eithershe’sengagedtohim—or—” Helefthissentenceunfinished,foratthispointKatharineherselfappeared.Withhisrecollectionsofthescenethenightbefore,hewastooself-consciouseventolookather,anditwasnotuntilshetoldhimofhermother’svisittoStratford-on-Avonthatheraisedhiseyes.Itwasclearthathewasgreatlyrelieved.Helookedroundhimnow,asifhefeltathisease,andCassandraexclaimed: “Don’tyouthinkeverythinglooksquitedifferent?” “You’vemovedthesofa?”heasked. “No.Nothing’sbeentouched,”saidKatharine.“Everything’sexactlythesame.”Butasshesaidthis,withadecisionwhichseemedtomakeitimplythatmorethanthesofawasunchanged,sheheldoutacupintowhichshehadforgottentopouranytea.Beingtoldofherforgetfulness,shefrownedwithannoyance,andsaidthatCassandrawasdemoralizingher.Theglanceshecastuponthem,andtheresolutewayinwhichsheplungedthemintospeech,madeWilliamandCassandrafeellikechildrenwhohadbeencaughtprying.Theyfollowedherobediently,makingconversation.Anyonecominginmighthavejudgedthemacquaintancesmet,perhaps,forthethirdtime.Ifthatwereso,onemusthaveconcludedthatthehostesssuddenlybethoughtherofanengagementpressingforfulfilment.FirstKatharinelookedatherwatch,andthensheaskedWilliamtotellhertherighttime.Whentoldthatitwastenminutestofivesheroseatonce,andsaid: “ThenI’mafraidImustgo.” Shelefttheroom,holdingherunfinishedbreadandbutterinherhand.WilliamglancedatCassandra. “Well,sheISqueer!”Cassandraexclaimed. Williamlookedperturbed.HeknewmoreofKatharinethanCassandradid,butevenhecouldnottell—.InasecondKatharinewasbackagaindressedinoutdoorthings,stillholdingherbreadandbutterinherbarehand. “IfI’mlate,don’twaitforme,”shesaid.“Ishallhavedined,”andsosaying,sheleftthem. “Butshecan’t—”Williamexclaimed,asthedoorshut,“notwithoutanyglovesandbreadandbutterinherhand!”Theyrantothewindow,andsawherwalkingrapidlyalongthestreettowardstheCity.Thenshevanished. “ShemusthavegonetomeetMr.Denham,”Cassandraexclaimed. “Goodnessknows!”Williaminterjected. Theincidentimpressedthembothashavingsomethingqueerandominousaboutitoutofallproportiontoitssurfacestrangeness. “It’sthesortofwayAuntMaggiebehaves,”saidCassandra,asifinexplanation. Williamshookhishead,andpacedupanddowntheroomlookingextremelyperturbed. “ThisiswhatI’vebeenforetelling,”heburstout.“Oncesettheordinaryconventionsaside—ThankHeavenMrs.Hilberyisaway.Butthere’sMr.Hilbery.Howarewetoexplainittohim?Ishallhavetoleaveyou.” “ButUncleTrevorwon’tbebackforhours,William!”Cassandraimplored. “Younevercantell.Hemaybeonhiswayalready.OrsupposeMrs.Milvain—yourAuntCelia—orMrs.Cosham,oranyotherofyourauntsorunclesshouldbeshowninandfindusalonetogether.Youknowwhatthey’resayingaboutusalready.” CassandrawasequallystrickenbythesightofWilliam’sagitation,andappalledbytheprospectofhisdesertion. “Wemighthide,”sheexclaimedwildly,glancingatthecurtainwhichseparat