CHAPTER VIII

istanthummingsoundoffar-offcrowdedthoroughfareswasadmittedtotheroom.Theincessantandtumultuoushumofthedistanttrafficseemed,asshestoodthere,torepresentthethicktextureofherlife,forherlifewassohemmedinwiththeprogressofotherlivesthatthesoundofitsownadvancewasinaudible.PeoplelikeRalphandMary,shethought,haditalltheirownway,andanemptyspacebeforethem,and,assheenviedthem,shecasthermindouttoimagineanemptylandwhereallthispettyintercourseofmenandwomen,thislifemadeupofthedensecrossingsandentanglementsofmenandwomen,hadnoexistencewhatever.Evennow,alone,atnight,lookingoutintotheshapelessmassofLondon,shewasforcedtorememberthattherewasonepointandhereanotherwithwhichshehadsomeconnection.WilliamRodney,atthisverymoment,wasseatedinaminutespeckoflightsomewheretotheeastofher,andhismindwasoccupied,notwithhisbook,butwithher.Shewishedthatnooneinthewholeworldwouldthinkofher.However,therewasnowayofescapingfromone’sfellow-beings,sheconcluded,andshutthewindowwithasigh,andreturnedoncemoretoherletters. ShecouldnotdoubtbutthatWilliam’sletterwasthemostgenuineshehadyetreceivedfromhim.Hehadcometotheconclusionthathecouldnotlivewithouther,hewrote.Hebelievedthatheknewher,andcouldgiveherhappiness,andthattheirmarriagewouldbeunlikeothermarriages.Norwasthesonnet,inspiteofitsaccomplishment,lackinginpassion,andKatharine,asshereadthepagesthroughagain,couldseeinwhatdirectionherfeelingsoughttoflow,supposingtheyrevealedthemselves.Shewouldcometofeelahumoroussortoftendernessforhim,azealouscareforhissusceptibilities,and,afterall,sheconsidered,thinkingofherfatherandmother,whatislove? Naturally,withherface,position,andbackground,shehadexperienceofyoungmenwhowishedtomarryher,andmadeprotestationsoflove,but,perhapsbecauseshedidnotreturnthefeeling,itremainedsomethingofapageanttoher.Nothavingexperienceofitherself,hermindhadunconsciouslyoccupieditselfforsomeyearsindressingupanimageoflove,andthemarriagethatwastheoutcomeoflove,andthemanwhoinspiredlove,whichnaturallydwarfedanyexamplesthatcameherway.Easily,andwithoutcorrectionbyreason,herimaginationmadepictures,superbbackgroundscastingarichthoughphantomlightuponthefactsintheforeground.Splendidasthewatersthatdropwithresoundingthunderfromhighledgesofrock,andplungedownwardsintothebluedepths