CHAPTER III

tchedupintenminutes,ifshegavehermindtoit.Next,therewasanaccountoftheancienthomeoftheAlardyces,orrather,ofspringinSuffolk,whichwasverybeautifullywritten,althoughnotessentialtothestory.However,Katharinehadputtogetherastringofnamesanddates,sothatthepoetwascapablybroughtintotheworld,andhisninthyearwasreachedwithoutfurthermishap.Afterthat,Mrs.Hilberywished,forsentimentalreasons,tointroducetherecollectionsofaveryfluentoldlady,whohadbeenbroughtupinthesamevillage,buttheseKatharinedecidedmustgo.ItmightbeadvisabletointroducehereasketchofcontemporarypoetrycontributedbyMr.Hilbery,andthusterseandlearnedandaltogetheroutofkeepingwiththerest,butMrs.Hilberywasofopinionthatitwastoobare,andmadeonefeelaltogetherlikeagoodlittlegirlinalecture-room,whichwasnotatallinkeepingwithherfather.Itwasputononeside.Nowcametheperiodofhisearlymanhood,whenvariousaffairsoftheheartmusteitherbeconcealedorrevealedhereagainMrs.Hilberywasoftwominds,andathickpacketofmanuscriptwasshelvedforfurtherconsideration. Severalyearswerenowaltogetheromitted,becauseMrs.Hilberyhadfoundsomethingdistastefultoherinthatperiod,andhadpreferredtodwelluponherownrecollectionsasachild.Afterthis,itseemedtoKatharinethatthebookbecameawilddanceofwill-o’-the-wisps,withoutformorcontinuity,withoutcoherenceeven,oranyattempttomakeanarrative.Hereweretwentypagesuponhergrandfather’stasteinhats,anessayuponcontemporarychina,alongaccountofasummerday’sexpeditionintothecountry,whentheyhadmissedtheirtrain,togetherwithfragmentaryvisionsofallsortsoffamousmenandwomen,whichseemedtobepartlyimaginaryandpartlyauthentic.Therewere,moreover,thousandsofletters,andamassoffaithfulrecollectionscontributedbyoldfriends,whichhadgrownyellownowintheirenvelopes,butmustbeplacedsomewhere,ortheirfeelingswouldbehurt.Somanyvolumeshadbeenwrittenaboutthepoetsincehisdeaththatshehadalsotodisposeofagreatnumberofmisstatements,whichinvolvedminuteresearchesandmuchcorrespondence.SometimesKatharinebrooded,halfcrushed,amongherpaperssometimesshefeltthatitwasnecessaryforherveryexistencethatsheshouldfreeherselffromthepastatothers,thatthepasthadcompletelydisplacedthepresent,which,whenoneresumedlifeafteramorningamongthedead,provedtobeofanutterlythinandinferiorcomposition. Theworstofitwasthatshehadnoaptitudeforliterature.Shedidnotlikephrases.Shehadevensomenaturalantipathytothatprocessofself-examination,thatperpetualefforttounderstandone’sownfeeling,andexpressitbeautifully,fitly,orenergeticallyinlanguage,whichconstitutedsogreatapartofhermother’sexistence.Shewas,onthecontrary,inclinedtobesilentsheshrankfromexpressingherselfevenintalk,letaloneinwriting.Asthisdispositionwashighlyconvenientinafamilymuchgiventothemanufactureofphrases,andseemedtoargueacorrespondingcapacityforaction,shewas,fromherchildhoodeven,putinchargeofhouseholdaffairs.Shehadthereputation,whichnothinginhermannercontradicted,ofbeingthemostpracticalofpeople.Orderingmeals,directingservants,payingbills,andsocontrivingthateveryclocktickedmoreorlessaccuratelyintime,andanumberofvaseswerealwaysfulloffreshflowerswassupposedtobeanaturalendowmentofhers,and,indeed,Mrs.Hilberyoftenobservedthatitwaspoetrythewrongsideout.Fromaveryearlyage,too,shehadtoexertherselfinanothercapacityshehadtocounselandhelpandgenerallysustainhermother.Mrs.Hilberywouldhavebeenperfectlywellabletosustainherselfiftheworldhadbeenwhattheworldisnot.Shewasbeautifullyadaptedforlifeinanotherplanet.Butthenaturalgeniusshehadforconductingaffairstherewasofnorealusetoherhere.Herwatch,forexample,wasaconstantsourceofsurprisetoher,andattheageofsixty-fiveshewasstillamazedattheascendancywhichrulesandreasonsexertedoverthelivesofotherpeople.Shehadneverlearntherlesson,andhadconstantlytobepunishedforherignorance.Butasthatignoran