CHAPTER V

,butitwashismannerratherthanhissentimentsthatannoyedher. Tryingtorecoverhistemper,hesaid,“Indialikesgods.” “AndEnglishmenlikeposingasgods.” “There’snopointinallthis.Hereweare,andwe’regoingtostop,andthecountry’sgottoputupwithus,godsornogods.Oh,lookhere,”hebrokeout,ratherpathetically,“whatdoyouandAdelawantmetodo?Goagainstmyclass,againstallthepeopleIrespectandadmireouthere?LosesuchpowerasIhavefordoinggoodinthiscountrybecausemybehaviourisn’tpleasant?Youneitherofyouunderstandwhatworkis,oryou’ldnevertalksucheyewash.Ihatetalkinglikethis,butonemustoccasionally.It’smorbidlysensitivetogoonasAdelaandyoudo.Inoticedyoubothattheclubto-day—aftertheBurraSahibhadbeenatallthattroubletoamuseyou.Iamoutheretowork,mind,toholdthiswretchedcountrybyforce.I’mnotamissionaryoraLabourMemberoravaguesentimentalsympatheticliteraryman.I’mjustaservantoftheGovernmentit’stheprofessionyouwantedmetochoosemyself,andthat’sthat.We’renotpleasantinIndia,andwedon’tintendtobepleasant.We’vesomethingmoreimportanttodo.” Hespokesincerely.Everydayheworkedhardinthecourttryingtodecidewhichoftwountrueaccountswasthelessuntrue,tryingtodispensejusticefearlessly,toprotecttheweakagainstthelessweak,theincoherentagainsttheplausible,surroundedbyliesandflattery.Thatmorninghehadconvictedarailwayclerkofoverchargingpilgrimsfortheirtickets,andaPathanofattemptedrape.Heexpectednogratitude,norecognitionforthis,andbothclerkandPathanmightappeal,bribetheirwitnessesmoreeffectuallyintheinterval,andgettheirsentencesreversed.Itwashisduty.Buthedidexpectsympathyfromhisownpeople,andexceptfromnew-comersheobtainedit.Hedidthinkheoughtnottobeworriedabout“BridgeParties”whentheday’sworkwasoverandhewantedtoplaytenniswithhisequalsorresthislegsuponalongchair. Hespokesincerely,butshecouldhavewishedwithlessgusto.HowRonnyrevelledinthedrawbacksofhissituation!HowhedidrubitinthathewasnotinIndiatobehavepleasantly,andderivedpositivesatisfactiontherefrom!Heremindedherofhispublic-schooldays.Thetracesofyoung-manhumanitarianismhadsloughedoff,andhetalkedlikeanintelligentandembitteredboy.Hiswordswithouthisvoicemighthaveimpressedher,butwhensheheardtheself-satisfiedliltofthem,whenshesawthemouthmovingsocomplacentlyandcompetentlybeneaththelittlerednose,shefelt,quiteillogically,thatthiswasnotthelastwordonIndia.Onetouchofregret—notthecannysubstitutebutthetrueregretfromtheheart—wouldhavemadehimadifferentman,andtheBritishEmpireadifferentinstitution. “I’mgoingtoargue,andindeeddictate,”shesaid,clinkingherrings.“TheEnglishareoutheretobepleasant.” “Howdoyoumakethatout,mother?”heasked,speakinggentlyagain,forhewasashamedofhisirritability. “BecauseIndiaispartoftheearth.AndGodhasputusontheearthinordertobepleasanttoeachother.God...is...love.”Shehesitated,seeinghowmuchhedislikedtheargument,butsomethingmadehergoon.“Godhasputusonearthtoloveourneighboursandtoshowit,andHeisomnipresent,eveninIndia,toseehowwearesucceeding.” Helookedgloomy,andalittleanxious.Heknewthisreligiousstraininher,andthatitwasasymptomofbadhealththerehadbeenmuchofitwhenhisstepfatherdied.Hethought,“Sheiscertainlyageing,andIoughtnottobevexedwithanythingshesays.” “ThedesiretobehavepleasantlysatisfiesGod...ThesincereifimpotentdesirewinsHisblessing.Ithinkeveryonefails,buttherearesomanykindsoffailure.Goodwillandmoregoodwillandmoregoodwill.ThoughIspeakwiththetonguesof...” Hewaiteduntilshehaddone,andthensaidgently,“Iquiteseethat.IsupposeIoughttogetofftomyfilesnow,andyou’llbegoingtobed.” “Isupposeso,Isupposeso.”Theydidnotpartforafewminutes,buttheconversationhadbecomeunrealsinceChristianityhadenteredit.RonnyapprovedofreligionaslongasitendorsedtheNationalAnthem,butheobjectedwhenitattemptedtoinfluencehislife.Thenhewouldsayinrespectfulyetdecidedtones,“Idon’tthinkitdoestotalkaboutthesethings,everyfellowhastoworkouthisownreligion,”andanyfellowwhoheardhimmuttered,“Hear!” Mrs.MoorefeltthatshehadmadeamistakeinmentioningGod,butshefoundhimincreasinglydifficulttoavoidasshegrewolder,andhehadbeenconstantlyinherthoughtssincesheenteredIndia,thoughoddlyenoughhesatisfiedherless.Shemustneedspronouncehisnamefrequently,asthegreatestsheknew,yetshehadneverfounditlessefficacious.Outsidethearchthereseemedalwaysanarch,beyondtheremotestechoasilence.AndsheregrettedafterwardsthatshehadnotkepttotherealserioussubjectthathadcausedhertovisitIndia—namelytherelationshipbetweenRonnyandAdela.Wouldthey,orwouldtheynot,succeedinbecomingengagedtobemarried?