CHAPTER VIII.
關燈
小
中
大
stlyendeavoredtoturntoaccounttheeducationyouhavereceivedhere.Isaynothingofthegrieftoyourmotherandme.”
“I’mverysorrybutwhatcanIdo?Ican’tstudy—that’scertain,”saidRex.
“Notjustnow,perhaps.Youwillhavetomissaterm.Ihavemadearrangementsforyou—howyouaretospendthenexttwomonths.ButIconfessIamdisappointedinyou,Rex.Ithoughtyouhadmoresensethantotakeupsuchideas—tosupposethatbecauseyouhavefallenintoaverycommontrouble,suchasmostmenhavetogothrough,youareloosenedfromallbondsofduty—justasifyourbrainhadsoftenedandyouwerenolongeraresponsiblebeing.”
WhatcouldRexsay?Inwardlyhewasinastateofrebellion,buthehadnoargumentstomeethisfather’sandwhilehewasfeeling,inspiteofanythingthatmightbesaid,thatheshouldliketogooffto“thecolonies”to-morrow,itlayinadeepfoldofhisconsciousnessthatheoughttofeel—ifhehadbeenabetterfellowhewouldhavefelt—moreabouthisoldties.Thisisthesortoffaithwelivebyinoursoulsicknesses.
Rexgotupfromhisseat,asifheheldtheconferencetobeatanend.“Youassenttomyarrangement,then?”saidMr.Gascoigne,withthatdistinctresolutionoftonewhichseemstoholdoneinavise.
TherewasalittlepausebeforeRexanswered,“I’lltrywhatIcando,sir.Ican’tpromise.”Histhoughtwas,thattryingwouldbeofnouse.
HerfatherkeptAnna,holdingherfast,thoughshewantedtofollowRex.“Oh,papa,”shesaid,thetearscomingwithherwordswhenthedoorhadclosed“itisveryhardforhim.Doesn’thelookill?”
“Yes,buthewillsoonbebetteritwillallblowover.Andnow,Anna,beasquietasamouseaboutitall.Neverletitbementionedwhenheisgone.”
“No,papa.ButIwouldnotbelikeGwendolenforanything—tohavepeoplefallinlovewithmeso.Itisverydreadful.”
AnnadarednotsaythatshewasdisappointedatnotbeingallowedtogotothecolonieswithRexbutthatwashersecretfeeling,andsheoftenafterwardwentinwardlyoverthewholeaffair,sayingtoherself,“Ishouldhavedonewithgoingout,andgloves,andcrinoline,andhavingtotalkwhenIamtakentodinner—andallthat!”
Iliketomarkthetime,andconnectthecourseofindividualliveswiththehistoricstream,forallclassesofthinkers.Thiswastheperiodwhenthebroadeningofgaugeincrinolinesseemedtodemandanagitationforthegeneralenlargementofchurches,ball-rooms,andvehicles.ButAnnaGascoigne’sfigurewouldonlyallowthesizeofskirtmanufacturedforyoungladiesoffourteen.