CHAPTER II.

povertyandofhumiliatingdependence,asitwouldhavebeentogetintothestrongcurrentofherbloominglifethechillsensethatherdeathwouldreallycome.Shestoodmotionlessforafewminutes,thentossedoffherhatandautomaticallylookedintheglass.Thecoilsofhersmoothlight-brownhairwerestillinorderperfectenoughforaball-roomandasonothernights,Gwendolenmighthavelookedlingeringlyatherselfforpleasure(surelyanallowableindulgence)butnowshetooknoconsciousnoteofherreflectedbeauty,andsimplystaredrightbeforeherasifshehadbeenjarredbyahatefulsoundandwaswaitingforanysignofitscause.By-and-byshethrewherselfinthecorneroftheredvelvetsofa,tookuptheletteragainandreadittwicedeliberately,lettingitatlastfallontheground,whilesherestedherclaspedhandsonherlapandsatperfectlystill,sheddingnotears.Herimpulsewastosurveyandresistthesituationratherthantowailoverit.Therewasnoinwardexclamationof“Poormamma!”Hermammahadneverseemedtogetmuchenjoymentoutoflife,andifGwendolenhadbeenatthismomentdisposedtofeelpityshewouldhavebestoweditonherself—forwasshenotnaturallyandrightfullythechiefobjectofhermamma’sanxietytoo?Butitwasanger,itwasresistancethatpossessedheritwasbittervexationthatshehadlosthergainsatroulette,whereasifherluckhadcontinuedthroughthisonedayshewouldhavehadahandsomesumtocarryhome,orshemighthavegoneonplayingandwonenoughtosupportthemall.Evennowwasitnotpossible?Shehadonlyfournapoleonsleftinherpurse,butshepossessedsomeornamentswhichshecouldsell:apracticesocommoninstylishsocietyatGermanbathsthattherewasnoneedtobeashamedofitandevenifshehadnotreceivedhermamma’sletter,shewouldprobablyhavedecidedtogetmoneyforanEtruscannecklacewhichshehappenednottohavebeenwearingsinceherarrivalnay,shemighthavedonesowithanagreeablesensethatshewaslivingwithsomeintensityandescapinghumdrum.Withtenlouisatherdisposalandareturnofherformerluck,whichseemedprobable,whatcouldshedobetterthangoonplayingforafewdays?Ifherfriendsathomedisapprovedofthewayinwhichshegotthemoney,astheycertainlywould,stillthemoneywouldbethere.Gwendolen’simaginationdweltonthiscourseandcreatedagreeableconsequences,butnotwithunbrokenconfidenceandrisingcertaintyasitwouldhavedoneifshehadbeentouchedwiththegambler’smania.Shehadgonetotheroulette-tablenotbecauseofpassion,butinsearchofit:hermindwasstillsanelycapableofpicturingbalancedprobabilities,andwhilethechanceofwinningalluredher,thechanceoflosingthrustitselfonherwithalternatestrengthandmadeavisionfromwhichherpridesanksensitively.ForshewasresolvednottotelltheLangensthatanymisfortunehadbefallenherfamily,ortomakeherselfinanywayindebtedtotheircompassionandifshewer