Chapter XII. Mr and Mrs Glegg at Home

terespectforahusband’shobby.Butitiswellknownthatthisconjugalcomplacencybelongsonlytotheweakerportionofthesex,whoarescarcelyalivetotheresponsibilitiesofawifeasaconstitutedcheckonherhusband’spleasures,whicharehardlyeverofarationalorcommendablekind. MrGleggonhisside,too,hadadoublesourceofmentaloccupation,whichgaveeverypromiseofbeinginexhaustible.Ontheonehand,hesurprisedhimselfbyhisdiscoveriesinnaturalhistory,findingthathispieceofgarden-groundcontainedwonderfulcaterpillars,slugs,andinsects,which,sofarashehadheard,hadneverbeforeattractedhumanobservationandhenoticedremarkablecoincidencesbetweenthesezoologicalphenomenaandthegreateventsofthattime,—as,forexample,thatbeforetheburningofYorkMinstertherehadbeenmysteriousserpentinemarksontheleavesoftherose-trees,togetherwithanunusualprevalenceofslugs,whichhehadbeenpuzzledtoknowthemeaningof,untilitflasheduponhimwiththismelancholyconflagration.(MrGlegghadanunusualamountofmentalactivity,which,whendisengagedfromthewoolbusiness,naturallymadeitselfapathwayinotherdirections.)Andhissecondsubjectofmeditationwasthe“contrairiness”ofthefemalemind,astypicallyexhibitedinMrsGlegg.Thatacreaturemade—inagenealogicalsense—outofaman’srib,andinthisparticularcasemaintainedinthehighestrespectabilitywithoutanytroubleofherown,shouldbenormallyinastateofcontradictiontotheblandestpropositionsandeventothemostaccommodatingconcessions,wasamysteryintheschemeofthingstowhichhehadofteninvainsoughtaclewintheearlychaptersofGenesis.MrGlegghadchosentheeldestMissDodsonasahandsomeembodimentoffemaleprudenceandthrift,andbeinghimselfofamoney-getting,money-keepingturn,hadcalculatedonmuchconjugalharmony.Butinthatcuriouscompound,thefemininecharacter,itmayeasilyhappenthattheflavourisunpleasantinspiteofexcellentingredientsandafinesystematicstinginessmaybeaccompaniedwithaseasoningthatquitespoilsitsrelish.Now,goodMrGlegghimselfwasstingyinthemostamiablemannerhisneighbourscalledhim“near,”whichalwaysmeansthatthepersoninquestionisalovableskinflint.Ifyouexpressedapreferenceforcheese-parings,MrGleggwouldremembertosavethemforyou,withagood-natureddelightingratifyingyourpalate,andhewasgiventopetallanimalswhichrequirednoappreciablekeep.TherewasnohumbugorhypocrisyaboutMrGlegghiseyeswouldhavewateredwithtruefeelingoverthesaleofawidow’sfurniture,whichafive-poundnotefromhissidepocketwouldhavepreventedbutadonationoffivepoundstoaperson“inasmallwayoflife”wouldhaveseemedtohimamadkindoflavishnessratherthan“charity,”whichhadalwayspresenteditselftohimasacontributionofsmallaids,notaneutralizingofmisfortune.AndMrGleggwasjustasfondofsavingotherpeople’smoneyashisownhewouldhaveriddenasfarroundtoavoidaturnpikewhenhisexpensesweretobepaidforhim,aswhentheyweretocomeoutofhisownpocket,andwasquitezealousintryingtoinduceindifferentacquaintancestoadoptacheapsubstituteforblacking.Thisinalienablehabitofsaving,asanendinitself,belongedtotheindustriousmenofbusinessofaformergeneration,whomadetheirfortunesslowly,almostasthetrackingofthefoxbelongstotheharrier,—itconstitutedthema“race,”whichisnearlylostinthesedaysofrapidmoney-getting,whenlavishnesscomescloseonthebackofwant.Inold-fashionedtimesan“independence”washardlyevermadewithoutalittlemiserlinessasacondition,andyouwouldhavefoundthatqualityineveryprovincialdistrict,combinedwithcharactersasvariousasthefruitsfromwhichwecanextractacid.ThetrueHarpagonswerealwaysmarkedandexceptionalcharactersnotsotheworthytax-payers,who,havingoncepinchedfromrealnecessity,retainedeveninthemidstoftheircomfortableretirement,withtheirwallfruitandwine-bins,thehabitofregardinglifeasaningeniousprocessofnibblingoutone’slivelihoodwithoutleavinganyperceptibledeficit,andwhowouldhavebeenasimmediatelypromptedtogiveupanewlytaxedluxurywhentheyhadhadtheirclearfivehundredayear,aswhentheyhadonlyfivehundredpoundsofcapital.MrGleggwasoneofthesemen,foundsoimpracticablebychancellorsoftheexchequerandknowingthis,youwillbethebetterabletounderstandwhyhehadnotswervedfromtheconvictionthathehadmadeaneligiblemarriage,inspiteofthetoopungentseasoningthatnaturehadgiventotheeldestMissDodson’svirtues.Amanwithanaffectionatedisposition,whofindsawifetoconcurwithhisfundamentalideaoflife,easilycomestopersuadehimselfthatnootherwomanwouldhavesuitedhimsowell,anddoesalittledailysnappingandquarrellingwithoutanysenseofalienation.MrGlegg,beingofareflectiveturn,andnolongeroccupiedwithwool,hadmuchwonderingmeditationonthepeculiarconstitutionofthefemalemindasunfoldedtohiminhisdomesticlifeandyethethoughtMrsGlegg’shouseholdwaysamodelforhersex.Itstruckhimasapitiableirregularityinotherwomeniftheydidnotrolluptheirtable-napkinswiththesametightnessandemphasisasMrsGleggdid,iftheirpastryhadalessleatheryconsistence,andtheirdamsoncheesealessvenerablehardnessthanhersnay,eventhepeculiarcombinationofgroceryanddruglikeodorsinMrsGlegg’sprivatecupboardimpressedhimastheonlyrightthinginthewayofcupboardsmells.Iamnots