Chapter III. Mr Riley Gives His Advice Concerning a School for Tom

reside.Butyouseewhenaman’sgotbrainshimself,there’snoknowingwherethey’llruntoan’apleasantsorto’softwomanmaygoonbreedingyoustupidladsand’cutewenches,tillit’slikeasiftheworldwasturnedtopsy-turvy.It’sanuncommonpuzzlin’thing.” MrRiley’sgravitygaveway,andheshookalittleundertheapplicationofhispinchofsnuffbeforehesaid,— “Butyourlad’snotstupid,ishe?Isawhim,whenIwasherelast,busymakingfishing-tackleheseemedquiteuptoit.” “Well,heisn’tnottosaystupid,—he’sgotanotiono’thingsouto’door,an’asorto’commonsense,ashe’dlayholdo’thingsbytherighthandle.Buthe’sslowwithhistongue,yousee,andhereadsbutpoorly,andcan’tabidethebooks,andspellsallwrong,theytellme,an’asshyascanbewi’strangers,an’youneverhearhimsay’cutethingslikethelittlewench.Now,whatIwantistosendhimtoaschoolwherethey’llmakehimabitnimblewithhistongueandhispen,andmakeasmartchapofhim.Iwantmysontobeevenwi’thesefellowsashavegotthestarto’mewithhavingbetterschooling.Notbutwhat,iftheworldhadbeenleftasGodmadeit,Icouldha’seenmyway,andheldmyownwi’thebestof’embutthingshavegotsotwistedroundandwrappedupi’unreasonablewords,asaren’tabitlike’em,asI’mcleanatfault,oftenan’often.Everythingwindsaboutso—themorestraightforradyouare,themoreyou’repuzzled.” MrTullivertookadraught,swalloweditslowly,andshookhisheadinamelancholymanner,consciousofexemplifyingthetruththataperfectlysaneintellectishardlyathomeinthisinsaneworld. “You’requiteintherightofit,Tulliver,”observedMrRiley.“Betterspendanextrahundredortwoonyourson’seducation,thanleaveithiminyourwill.IknowIshouldhavetriedtodosobyasonofmine,ifI’dhadone,though,Godknows,Ihaven’tyourreadymoneytoplaywith,TulliverandIhaveahousefulofdaughtersintothebargain.” “Idaresay,now,youknowofaschoolas’udbejustthethingforTom,”saidMrTulliver,notdivertedfromhispurposebyanysympathywithMrRiley’sdeficiencyofreadycash. MrRileytookapinchofsnuff,andkeptMrTulliverinsuspensebyasilencethatseemeddeliberative,beforehesaid,— “Iknowofaveryfinechanceforanyonethat’sgotthenecessarymoneyandthat’swhatyouhave,Tulliver.Thefactis,Iwouldn’trecommendanyfriendofminetosendaboytoaregularschool,ifhecouldaffordtodobetter.Butifanyonewantedhisboytogetsuperiorinstructionandtraining,wherehewouldbethecompanionofhismaster,andthatmasterafirstratefellow,Iknowhisman.Iwouldn’tmentionthechancetoeverybody,becauseIdon’tthinkeverybodywouldsucceedingettingit,ifheweretotrybutImentionittoyou,Tulliver,betweenourselves.” ThefixedinquiringglancewithwhichMrTulliverhadbeenwatchinghisfriend’soracularfacebecamequiteeager. “Ay,now,let’shear,”hesaid,adjustinghimselfinhischairwiththecomplacencyofapersonwhoisthoughtworthyofimportantcommunications. “He’sanOxfordman,”saidMrRiley,sententiously,shuttinghismouthclose,andlookingatMrTullivertoobservetheeffectofthisstimulatinginformation. “What!aparson?”saidMrTulliver,ratherdoubtfully. “Yes,andanM.A.Thebishop,Iunderstand,thinksveryhighlyofhim:why,itwasthebishopwhogothimhispresentcuracy.” “Ah?”saidMrTulliver,towhomonethingwasaswonderfulasanotherconcerningtheseunfamiliarphenomena.“Butwhatcanhewantwi’Tom,then?” “Why,thefactis,he’sfondofteaching,andwishestokeepuphisstudies,andaclergymanhasbutlittleopportunityforthatinhisparochialduties.He’swillingtotakeoneortwoboysaspupilstofilluphistimeprofitably.Theboyswouldbequiteofthefamily,—thefinestthingintheworldforthemunderStelling’seyecontinually.” “Butdoyouthinkthey’dgivethepoorladtwiceo’pudding?”saidMrsTulliver,whowasnowinherplaceagain.“He’ssuchaboyforpuddingasneverwasan’agrowingboylikethat,—it’sdreadfultothinko’theirstintin’him.” “Andwhatmoney’udhewant?”saidMrTulliver,whoseinstincttoldhimthattheservicesofthisadmirableM.A.wouldbearahighprice. “Why,Iknowofaclergymanwhoasksahundredandfiftywithhisyoungestpupils,andhe’snottobementionedwithStelling,themanIspeakof.Iknow,ongoodauthority,thatoneofthechiefpeopleatOxfordsaid,Stellingmightgetthehighesthonoursifhechose.Buthedidn’tcareaboutuniversityhonourshe’saquietman—notnoisy.” “Ah,adealbetter—adealbetter,”saidMrTulliver“butahundredandfifty’sanuncommonprice.Ineverthoughto’payingsomuchasthat.” “Agoodeducation,letmetellyou,Tulliver,—agoodeducationischeapatthemoney.ButStellingismoderateinhistermshe’snotagraspingman.I’venodoubthe’dtakeyourboyatahundred,andthat’swhatyouwouldn’tgetmanyotherclergymentodo.I’llwritetohimaboutit,ifyoulike.” MrTulliverrubbedhisknees,andlookedatthecarpetinameditativemanner. “Butbelikehe’sabachelor,”observedMrsTulliver,intheinterval“an’I’venoopiniono’housekeepers.Therewasmybrother,asisdeadan’gone,hadahousekeeperonce,an’shetookhalfthefeathersouto’thebestbed,an’packed’emupan’sent’emaway.An’it’sunknownthelinenshemadeawaywith—Stotthernamewas.It’udbreakmyhearttosendTomwherethere’sahousekeeper,an’Ihopeyouwon’tthinkofit,MrTulliver.” “Youmaysetyourmindatrestonthatscore,MrsTulliver,”saidMrRiley,“forStellingismarriedtoasnicealittlewomanasanymanneedwishforawife.Thereisn