CHAPTER IV. OLIVER, BEING OFFERED ANOTHER PLACE, MAKES HIS FIRST ENTRY INTO PUBLIC LIFE

le,sirandalltheironhandlescome,bycanal,fromBirmingham.” “Well,well,”saidMr.Bumble,“everytradehasitsdrawbacks.Afairprofitis,ofcourse,allowable.” “Ofcourse,ofcourse,”repliedtheundertaker“andifIdon’tgetaprofituponthisorthatparticulararticle,why,Imakeitupinthelong-run,yousee—he!he!he!” “Justso,”saidMr.Bumble. “ThoughImustsay,”continuedtheundertaker,resumingthecurrentofobservationswhichthebeadlehadinterrupted:“thoughImustsay,Mr.Bumble,thatIhavetocontendagainstoneverygreatdisadvantage:whichis,thatallthestoutpeoplegooffthequickest.Thepeoplewhohavebeenbetteroff,andhavepaidratesformanyyears,arethefirsttosinkwhentheycomeintothehouseandletmetellyou,Mr.Bumble,thatthreeorfourinchesoverone’scalculationmakesagreatholeinone’sprofits:especiallywhenonehasafamilytoprovidefor,sir.” AsMr.Sowerberrysaidthis,withthebecomingindignationofanill-usedmanandasMr.Bumblefeltthatitrathertendedtoconveyareflectiononthehonouroftheparishthelattergentlemanthoughtitadvisabletochangethesubject.OliverTwistbeinguppermostinhismind,hemadehimhistheme. “Bythebye,”saidMr.Bumble,“youdon’tknowanybodywhowantsaboy,doyou?Aporochial’prentis,whoisatpresentadead-weightamillstone,asImaysay,roundtheporochialthroat?Liberalterms,Mr.Sowerberry,liberalterms?”AsMr.Bumblespoke,heraisedhiscanetothebillabovehim,andgavethreedistinctrapsuponthewords“fivepounds”:whichwereprintedthereoninRomancapitalsofgiganticsize. “Gadso!”saidtheundertaker:takingMr.Bumblebythegilt-edgedlappelofhisofficialcoat“that’sjusttheverythingIwantedtospeaktoyouabout.Youknow—dearme,whataveryelegantbuttonthisis,Mr.Bumble!Inevernoticeditbefore.” “Yes,Ithinkitratherpretty,”saidthebeadle,glancingproudlydownwardsatthelargebrassbuttonswhichembellishedhiscoat.“Thedieisthesameastheporochialseal—theGoodSamaritanhealingthesickandbruisedman.TheboardpresentedittomeonNewyear’smorning,Mr.Sowerberry.Iputiton,Iremember,forthefirsttime,toattendtheinquestonthatreducedtradesman,whodiedinadoorwayatmidnight.” “Irecollect,”saidtheundertaker.“Thejurybroughtitin,‘Diedfromexposuretothecold,andwantofthecommonnecessariesoflife,’didn’tthey?” Mr.Bumblenodded. “Andtheymadeitaspecialverdict,Ithink,”saidtheundertaker,“byaddingsomewordstotheeffect,thatiftherelievingofficerhad—” “Tush!Foolery!”interposedthebeadle.“Iftheboardattendedtoallthenonsensethatignorantjurymentalk,they’dhaveenoughtodo.” “Verytrue,”saidtheundertaker“theywouldindeed.” “Juries,”saidMr.Bumble,graspingh