CHAPTER XIII

okatthemen.AnEmpireboresme,sofar,butIcanappreciatetheheroismthatbuildsitup.Londonboresme,butwhatthousandsofsplendidpeoplearelabouringtomakeLondon—” “Whatitis,”hesneered. “Whatitis,worseluck.Iwantactivitywithoutcivilisation.Howparadoxical!YetIexpectthatiswhatweshallfindinheaven.” “AndI,”saidTibby,“wantcivilisationwithoutactivity,which,Iexpect,iswhatweshallfindintheotherplace.” “Youneedn’tgoasfarastheotherplace,Tibbikins,ifyouwantthat.YoucanfinditatOxford.” “Stupid—” “IfI’mstupid,getmebacktothehouse-hunting.I’llevenliveinOxfordifyoulike—NorthOxford.I’llliveanywhereexceptBournemouth,Torquay,andCheltenham.Ohyes,orIlfracombeandSwanageandTunbridgeWellsandSurbitonandBedford.Thereonnoaccount.” “London,then.” “Iagree,butHelenratherwantstogetawayfromLondon.However,there’snoreasonweshouldn’thaveahouseinthecountryandalsoaflatintown,providedweallsticktogetherandcontribute.Thoughofcourse—Oh,howonedoesmaunderonandtothink,tothinkofthepeoplewhoarereallypoor.Howdotheylive?Nottomoveabouttheworldwouldkillme.” Asshespoke,thedoorwasflungopen,andHelenburstininastateofextremeexcitement. “Oh,mydears,whatdoyouthink?You’llneverguess.Awoman’sbeenhereaskingmeforherhusband.HerWHAT?”(Helenwasfondofsupplyingherownsurprise.)“Yes,forherhusband,anditreallyisso.” “NotanythingtodowithBracknell?”criedMargaret,whohadlatelytakenonanunemployedofthatnametocleantheknivesandboots. “IofferedBracknell,andhewasrejected.SowasTibby.(Cheerup,Tibby!)It’snooneweknow.Isaid,‘Hunt,mygoodwomanhaveagoodlookround,huntunderthetables,pokeupthechimney,shakeouttheantimacassars.Husband?husband?’Oh,andshesomagnificentlydressedandtinklinglikeachandelier.” “Now,Helen,whatdidreallyhappen?” “WhatIsay.Iwas,asitwere,oratingmyspeech.Annieopensthedoorlikeafool,andshowsafemalestraightinonme,withmymouthopen.Thenwebegan—verycivilly.‘Iwantmyhusband,whatIhavereasontobelieveishere.’No—howunjustoneis.Shesaid‘whom,’not‘what.’Shegotitperfectly.SoIsaid,‘Name,please?’andshesaid,‘Lan,Miss,’andtherewewere.” “Lan?” “LanorLen.Wewerenotniceaboutourvowels.Lanoline.” “Butwhatanextraordinary—” “Isaid,‘MygoodMrs.Lanoline,wehavesomegravemisunderstandinghere.BeautifulasIam,mymodestyisevenmoreremarka