CHAPTER VIII NEVER WONDER

eptthatitisafire,’saidTom,‘itlookstomeasstupidandblankaseverythingelselooks.Whatdoyouseeinit?Notacircus?’ ‘Idon’tseeanythinginit,Tom,particularly.ButsinceIhavebeenlookingatit,Ihavebeenwonderingaboutyouandme,grownup.’ ‘Wonderingagain!’saidTom. ‘Ihavesuchunmanageablethoughts,’returnedhissister,‘thattheywillwonder.’ ‘ThenIbegofyou,Louisa,’saidMrs.Gradgrind,whohadopenedthedoorwithoutbeingheard,‘todonothingofthatdescription,forgoodness’sake,youinconsiderategirl,orIshallneverhearthelastofitfromyourfather.And,Thomas,itisreallyshameful,withmypoorheadcontinuallywearingmeout,thataboybroughtupasyouhavebeen,andwhoseeducationhascostwhatyourshas,shouldbefoundencouraginghissistertowonder,whenheknowshisfatherhasexpresslysaidthatsheisnottodoit.’ LouisadeniedTom’sparticipationintheoffencebuthermotherstoppedherwiththeconclusiveanswer,‘Louisa,don’ttellme,inmystateofhealthforunlessyouhadbeenencouraged,itismorallyandphysicallyimpossiblethatyoucouldhavedoneit.’ ‘Iwasencouragedbynothing,mother,butbylookingattheredsparksdroppingoutofthefire,andwhiteninganddying.Itmademethink,afterall,howshortmylifewouldbe,andhowlittleIcouldhopetodoinit.’ ‘Nonsense!’saidMrs.Gradgrind,renderedalmostenergetic.‘Nonsense!Don’tstandthereandtellmesuchstuff,Louisa,tomyface,whenyouknowverywellthatifitwasevertoreachyourfather’searsIshouldneverhearthelastofit.Afterallthetroublethathasbeentakenwithyou!Afterthelecturesyouhaveattended,andtheexperimentsyouhaveseen!AfterIhaveheardyoumyself,whenthewholeofmyrightsidehasbeenbenumbed,goingonwithyourmasteraboutcombustion,andcalcination,andcalorification,andImaysayeverykindofationthatcoulddriveapoorinvaliddistracted,tohearyoutalkinginthisabsurdwayaboutsparksandashes!Iwish,’whimperedMrs.Gradgrind,takingachair,anddischargingherstrongestpointbeforesuccumbingunderthesemereshadowsoffacts,‘yes,IreallydowishthatIhadneverhadafamily,andthenyouwouldhaveknownwhatitwastodowithoutme!’